M i x e d M e s s a g e s

Something New

2006-09-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

Hey, so how have you been? Good here, and despite my absence online I’ve been thinking of my lovely blog friends. Hope you are well.

With the start of the school year, I’m giving some new projects a try including another blog. It’s a bit more frivolous and fun, with a fashion and beauty theme. I collect images and ideas that inspire a stylish yet accessible look.

You can visit Style Notebook (<---that's a link) if that sort of thing interests you. I’ll be updating daily on weekdays. Perhaps I'll be back here too--we'll see.

Seemingly Trivial

2006-06-27T14:37:00.000-07:00

As I write this, the bones of my face ache and a pile of tissues grows bigger—allergies gone mad. It might be the raging wind outside. I see the trees being pushed around violently. Yet, I feel compelled to post something here because it has been a long time.

This is one of those phases every blogger seems to go through at various intervals, where you wonder if you want to keep doing it or not. Some of the reasons why I started writing here no longer apply. Life seems full with other activities.

I decide to do what often gives interesting results when I’m wondering about something. I’ll open a book randomly and whatever page I turn to will offer a message about the question at hand. Q: What about this blogging thing?

Here is the section that my fingers point to: “There is no act, no matter how seemingly trivial, that does not add to and consequently influence the whole…Nothing that is done is ever wasted or without effect on life. Nothing is ever so insignificant as to be unimportant. Everything in life matters and ultimately has a place, an impact, and a meaning.”

That makes me feel better somehow. At least I haven’t been wasting time, right? And if I go forward, it will mean something, at least to me, if not a few lovely readers. This reminds me of a William James quote: "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does."

Anyway, hope you are enjoying your summer.

I Am Someone Who

2006-06-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

…just attended a preschool graduation, where students wore cap and gowns as they marched down the church aisle to “Pomp and Circumstance" then sang songs to the audience...

...and a first grade Carnival at the park

...and is happy that summer break starts at 12:40 p.m. tomorrow.

…is starting physical therapy for my back after six months of chiropractor visits (that have helped some but not enough).

…is behind on a lot of things but I’m catching up.

…just learned that my in-laws and niece are staying here this weekend.

…is making Chicken With Red pepper Cream Sauce for dinner in 45 minutes

…would love a nap.

…has two birthday parties to attend this weekend.

…hears a big mess being created in the next room (but at least there is no bickering).

…read some trashy gossip magazines this afternoon at the salon while the girls got haircuts and ate much candy

…has to wear a bathing suit in public in twelve days and really doesn’t care enough.

Recently…

2006-05-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

I have made excellent Lemon Drop martinis. They were a big hit at a dinner party.

I have been told that my brother-in-law received a new liver and is now recovering, post-transplant!

I have purchased a bunch of art supplies—what fun—to work on my art journaling class.

I have played numerous games of Uno with my five year-old and seven-year-old.

I have seen my own writing in our newspaper. A book review for an exercise book that I wrote in December was finally printed today.

I have visited my dad’s new home, about two hours away.

I have listened to Buddy Guy sing the blues. My husband is playing the CD downstairs right now.

I have watched What Not To Wear while exercising on our ellipse machine.

I have eaten an In- n- Out cheeseburger.

Update

2006-05-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

1. I’ve been keeping very busy lately with house and personal projects, and an art-journaling class that I’m taking. The class is so fun and offers a new twist to my writing. Letting my amateur artist out to play is a kick. Fortunately the girls have lot of art supplies, so I don’t go crazy getting all the great stuff in the art stores and catalogs.

2. The mug in front of me contains coffee, not tea. I’m determined that my crappy sleeping will not affect my days. At least til I crash this afternoon.

3. I scared myself walking in the hall, seeing my reflection in the mirror. I had forgotten that I grabbed two of the girls’little bright colored barrettes from the kitchen to hold my hair out of my eyes as I write. Thank God I didn’t answer the door like that.

4. We are having a new recipe for dinner tonight that I found at allrecipes.com. I needed a new chicken breast recipe, and Amy’s Garlic Egg Chicken apparently is in their Hall of Fame. It’s been marinating all night. We’ll see.

5. I’ve been informed that there are only 8 days left of preschool and 19 of first grade. What?? I’m actually looking forward to lots of time with the girls this summer but I just can’t believe that we will NEVER go to Noah’s Ark (the preschool) again and that J. will move up to the big-kiddedness of 2nd grade. You just gotta enjoy each stage, with its perks and its challenges, because the days pass by so quickly.

6. Doesn’t it seem like every TV show’s season finale is having someone die? Is there no other way to be interesting or dramatic? Maybe there isn’t, it just seems pervasive.

7. The weather has been sunny and lovely here lately, and now RAIN is actually predicted for Saturday when we are entertaining another family. Drat. I’ll just have to make some good cocktails to keep everything cheerful as the kids are all indoors.

On Writing

2006-05-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

Here are some quotes about writing that I like. Do you have any favorites you’d like to add?

There are only two ways of telling the complete truth--anonymously and posthumously.
--Thomas Sowell

Writing is like anything else. You fail, you pick yourself up, and you try again. When you’re discouraged, you eat ice cream.
--Anna Quindlen

"The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe."
--David Hare

"Learn to write about the ordinary. Give homage to old coffee cups, sparrows, city buses, thin ham sandwiches. Make a list of everything ordinary you can think of. Keep adding to it. Promise yourself, before you leave the earth, to mention everything on your list at least once in a poem, short story, newspaper article."
--Natalie Goldberg

"One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a better place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now."
--Annie Dillard

"You have to allow yourself the liberty of writing poorly. You have to get the bulk of it done, and then you start to refine it. You have to put down less than marvelous material just to keep going to whatever you think the end is going to be—which may be something else altogether by the time you get there."
--Larry Gelbart, scriptwriter

“You just sit down and write everyday for three or four hours. You do it like piano scales until you have a story to tell.”
--Anne Lamott

It’s Not Unusual (To Be Loved By Anyone)

2006-05-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

The theme today actually IS unusual—that is, what’s unusual about me. I just can’t say the word “unusual” without singing the Tom Jones song. Anyway, this meme came from Emily of Mad Mommy Chronicles. The idea is to share six weird or interesting facts about yourself. Hmmm….only six?

1. I have shot a gun, as a child. I recall the backfire practically knocking me down.

2. In high school, I swam against the then-current (1984) Olympic gold medalist in my event because she was on a rival high school’s team. Guess who won.

3. My sisters are twins and I was terrified that I would have twins myself. The fear was compounded when it turned out that we had to seek fertility treatment.

4. I passed a lie detector test (while lying), which was part of the hiring process for a summer job. A few years later I received a check for $820 out of the blue, as part of a class action settlement against that employer, who used lie detector tests for hiring and promoting.

5. Although I made the dean’s list in college several times and graduated with honors, I really don’t think I’m that smart or articulate. When I excelled at work, I also thought it was not that great of an accomplishment—that I’m really a fraud.

6. My husband was my college roommate during my senior year. We, uh, liked each other pretty much right away despite the fact that I had a long term boyfriend back home.

If you want to share a weird fact or two about yourself, I’m listening…

If Purchases Can Tell You about a Person…

2006-04-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

Here's a peek into my life via recent $pending:

* You know how you start to think that you’re done setting up or decorating an area of your house and then you realize you’re actually not? We moved around a couple of things in our living room, which necessitated the purchase of one more plum colored silk pillow and a picture (have to type in item 072451B in the search box to see it) for one of the walls. The artwork has the perfect colors for the room and is just the sort of style that fits. Too bad I have to wait 4-6 weeks for the order to arrive at the store for pickup. But I can be patient (I think).

* Dinner for four at the E-Bar, one of the handful of family friendly restaurants in our weekend rotation where we can all be reasonably pleased. Then Safeway afterward to pickup cookie dough ice cream for the kids (ok, I had two bites straight from the container) and eggs for the next day’s breakfast.

* This dress at Nordstroms and a skirt that I just surprisingly discovered is the same brand. Am I that predictable?

* Another batch of “wiggle eyes” from Michael’s Arts & Crafts store because the girls need more. They have glued the little plastic eyes (like the ones on these glasses, so you can understand what the hell I’m talking about) on everything they own and are excited to try larger sized eyes now. So I obliged with a combo pack of various eye sizes, because who am I to stifle their craziness?

* The search for new swimwear started early this year for me as I am determined to find something cute and as flattering as possible for a mid-thirty something woman. I have ordered and returned, and tried on and returned numerous possibilities. I now own two suits that I feel pretty good about (an Ann Cole tankini and one from Athleta, seen in part here and here). That’s what a planned beach trip without of town friends forces you to do.

* Gifts for one of my best college friends, who just had her first baby (a girl, Charlotte). So fun to shop for cute baby things.

* Momentum on the garage purging and organizing is building. After viewing the Home Depot’s Sunday ad flier, we went there to get a Stanley cabinet base and drawer base at sale prices. It will really help organize a certain area of the garage that is a junky mess right now. And K. is excited about it now too, enough to spend an afternoon assembling the purchases.

* Next up: monthly subscription for HBO and Showtime so that we can continue to watch The Sopranos and Weeds (a hilarious show about a suburban mom pot dealer).

What was your most recent purchase?

Because I'm Feeling Juvenile and Profane

2006-04-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

Tired of regular emoticons? How about some "assicons" I found:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

Good Things

2006-04-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

*We sold my old car. The buyer was kind of a pain in the ass and he just sent us an $88 bill for the smog check (which, according to the CA DMV, is our responsibility—but I’ve never spent that much getting smog checks before). Whatever. That car is gone!

*The Sopranos. I think we may have to pay for HBO after our free trial period ends, just for that show. Half the fun is reading the Television Without Pity discussion boards online following each episode. So many brilliant people talking about the characters and the symbolism and subtext.

*I’ve practically eliminated any sinus congestion by giving up all milk and soy milk for the last month. This is good, but it’s making coffee drinking very difficult, which is why I haven’t had any of that either. Green tea is fine. Sometimes you just want the weight and creaminess of a milk based warm drink though. Victory for my health prevails for now.

*I booked a suite vs. a regular room (a splurge) for our June trip to the beach, which means that instead of a room with two queens that we share with the girls, we get our own king bed and they get a little separate room with their own queen sofa bed and TV. This may be the first vacation where I actually get some rest. (Although maybe not since we're going with some friends from out of state who have three boys under age 6).

*A short week of school, as Friday starts our spring break. No big plans but without the morning rush or homework, it’s got to be good.

*I received an honorable mention for am essay I submitted (and kind of forgot about) to a Byline magazine contest. Just when I was backing off most of my writing goals.

*The dark red mini roses that I bought for $4.99 are so lovely, sitting on our kitchen table. Another reminder that inexpensive things can bring a lot of joy to daily life.

Ctrl + V Game

2006-04-03T06:09:00.000-07:00

I'm really tired (too old to be staying out til 2:00am on weekends plus daylight savings time's new morning wakeup time stinks, you get the drift...) so let's just play a game today, ok?

Here's what you do: For your comment to this post, simply (1) press Ctrl + V and (2) explain what you just pasted.

For example, when I press Ctrl + V, I get "No More Kissing." This is the title of a children's book that I was pasting into my library's online system.

How about you?

On This Day

2006-03-27T07:01:00.000-08:00

Thirteen years ago today, we got married. I don't know if that’s a paper or a wood or a crockpot anniversary. Well, I just looked it up and it’s lace.

We celebrated with some delicious food at Lalime’s, an all organic and ecologically sound restaurant (what else would it be in Berkeley?) where K. had a fabulous business dinner recently. We started with drinks—I couldn’t decide on my wine choice so the waitress gave me some of each to taste, actually a generous taste of each, so that was nice—and dungeness crab cakes with green chile aioli. Next was artichoke soup with toasted pinenuts and lemon cream. Then we split a caesar salad. For entrees, K. had rack of lamb on pearl couscous with preserved lemon and chermoula (whatever the hell chermoula is, but his lamb tasted delicious), and I had grilled liberty duck breast with citrus braised fennel and barley.

Later we drove over to The Claremont Resort, where the bar was standing room only, so we headed to the restaurant for dessert instead. At a table in the very back looking out a large window to a view of the San Francisco Bay and city skyline, we shared vanilla crème brulee topped with fresh berries.

Better than a gift of lace I’d say.

Yield For Best Results

2006-03-20T06:00:00.000-08:00

The moment I truly accept a situation, things change for the better.

It amazes me—like when I make up my mind to stop being bummed about the amount of homework J. brings home from school and then out of the blue, we get a free week with no homework. Or when I resolve to no longer care about that annoying woman at the preschool and then I find myself having a nice conversation with her. Or I decide to live with my current weight, #*!% it, and then a few pounds come off easily.

This “technique” works with absurd things too, apparently. Walking partly down our driveway the other day, my eye caught a flash of bright pink through the trees, over at our neighbor’s. A sick feeling washed over me as I processed what I was seeing: a plastic flamingo yard decoration. Oh Keri, I thought. What have you done?

Well, she has two small children. Maybe they’d like that sort of thing. I began to accept the situation. Just live with it.

Then the girls and I got into the car, backed out and started past the neighbor's house. We noticed there was more than one pink flamingo. A lot of pink flamingos actually—maybe twenty. I cringed involuntarily.

But ok, whatever. It is what it is.

At that very moment—the instant of surrender—I saw a sign. A literal sign, like the kind a realtor sticks in the lawn at the front of a house. It read, “You’ve been flocked.” Courtesy of XYZ church. Oh…it’s a joke. Our neighbors are not really insane (they seem so nice, it never made sense really).

Today, as I look out the window, the flamingos are gone.

You Can Rain on My Parade, I’m Still Having Fun

2006-03-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

How was your weekend? I actually have a good answer to that question for a change. I got a new car!

It’s an Acura MDX in a new color called steel blue metallic:

We were going to buy used like we normally do, but we found a dealership that had such an excellent price for a new one that we ordered it through them. Right in the middle of some freak weather here in northern CA (days of heavy rain and hail) the vehicle finally arrived for us to go pick up. Thank God we bought the all-season floor mats.

It was a pleasant experience as far as car buying goes: A very nice staff who made the process practically painless; a children’s section where the girls had their own sofas, stuffed animals, wall sized chalk board with a basket full of colored chalk, a TV/VCR, games, a table with built-in toys—shall I go on? The staff kept checking with them as to whether they’d like some hot chocolate (which they actually don't even like, but they did enjoy using the water cooler very much); even a beautiful bathroom stocked with all kinds of lotions, mouthwashes and such.

Maybe this is normal? I don’t know. I’m thinking it may have something to do with the fact that we drove over to Marin County, an area known (as described in Wikipedia) “for its stunning natural beauty, liberal politics and extreme affluence.” During our lesson about the car and its features, the guy showed what he likes to think of as the french fry holder section, but pointed out that past customers had corrected him that it was “for trail mix”. I guess Marin County kids don’t do McDonald’s.

Perhaps the most useful tip during the training session, our helper showed me how to use the XM satellite radio that comes free for three months. He mentioned that he loves channel 150, which plays continuous (uncensored) stand up comedy. He said he gets strange looks from other drivers as he’s cracking up driving to work. I had a chance to drive alone yesterday and I must say, I too found myself violently laughing at times, probably freaking out my neighbors as I pulled up my street. Yes, these are good times.

When First Graders Rule

2006-03-06T06:05:00.000-08:00

While J. was home last week with pneumonia she was still required to do a ludicrous amount of schoolwork—the regular, heavy homework load plus whatever the kids did during class time. One of the assignments was to create a book about what it would be like if she were president. Here are three sample pages:

(In case you can’t see, it’s a boy tattling, “She hit me,” with a girl smiling in the background because she knows Santa will bring her toys even if she’s bad.)

(A person saying, “I’m cold,” and a girl handing him a blanket.)

From this selection, the pet turtle a wild card, I’d say her future political affiliation is up in the air at this point.

P.S. She and her little sister (who also had pneumonia) are doing much better now, thanks.

Random Thoughts

2006-02-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

*I’m always pleasantly surprised when Hollywood types are actually educated or have interesting abilities. I just read that actress Kate Beckinsale is fluent in German, French and Russian.

*I cannot keep the spellings and pronunciations of Sudoku (the numbers game in the newspaper I play almost daily) and Santoku (the knife we gave K.’s sister and her husband for Christmas) straight in my mind.

*Watching the winter Olympics made me want to ski again. And also get in shape. And be athletic.

*The woman on the current Sephora catalog cover seems uniquely beautiful but I couldn’t put my finger on what it is about her. Someone said she has thin lips. Yeah, she does...how interesting—normal, non-puffed lips.

*I miss Dudley Moore. We watched Milo & Otis again, a cat and dog movie that he narrates hilariously. R.I.P., Dudley.

*I love mechanical pencils and have a ton of them around now in many colors. Any cheap thrill in life should be indulged.

*I owe my two best, college friends correspondence. I am so remiss. Does it count that I constantly think of doing it?

*I found out that my older daughter J. (age 7) does not like m & m’s. She actually threw them out. What a concept: not eating candy just because it’s there.

*I just read that banana peels are good for treating splinters. The enzymes in the peel apparently help draw the splinter to the skin’s surface. You apply a small piece of the pulp side of the peel and wear a band aid overnight. Ok then.

Feel free to add a random thought of your own…

Reunited (and it feels so good)

2006-02-20T17:56:00.000-08:00

"One of the most feared expressions in modern times is "The computer is down."
--Norman Augustine

We just returned home from a long weekend in Carmel, CA to find our internet and e-mail connections not working. This is possibly as bad as coming back to a burglarized house, I thought to myself. Of course that is idiotic and completely untrue but that’s how maddening it felt.

K. wasn’t as sympathetic as I wanted him to be, busying himself with checking to be sure that the new satellite TV was operational and then heading outside to mow the grass. We all have our priorities. After unpacking a few things I grabbed the phone and called my friends at Tech Support.

It is so funny to me that the people who answer are clearly in India yet they give you American names as if they are right here in town, assisting locally. “This is John,” my helper today informed me in a thick accent. Yeah, right. Last time it was “Eddie.” I must say, both of these guys were friendly for a change and Eddie had the best sense of humor I’ve ever come across in tech support.

So here I am, online. Whew. Now I can read the 35 e-mails that are so vitally important. And post this message, of course.

May your computer always treat you kindly.

Making Fun of My State

2006-02-13T09:13:00.000-08:00

I came across this list at Confused and Amused…

You know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember .. is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

Birthday Season is (Almost) Over

2006-02-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

Freedom is close at hand.

K.’s early January birthday has passed (although the plasma TV is not here yet). The kids’ late December birthdays, for which they have separate parties in mid and late January, have been now fully celebrated. I completed the final thank you notes during our family Superbowl party, after snacking and hand washing of course.

Here are some photos from the birthday parties, which were held at a local pottery studio.

Five-year-old, S.:

Seven-year-old, J.:

All of us:

All that remains—and this is harder than it sounds—is delivering the painted pottery figurines to the birthday guests. To the girls we’ve been able to find on the preschool and elementary schools campuses, we have handed off their masterpieces. For the elusive girls, I may have to drive around to their houses to drop off their tiny figurines (drat).

An interesting side note: every single parent who has seen their child’s pottery thinks their child’s work is really remarkable. Parents are easily impressed.

Nail Envy

2006-01-30T06:54:00.000-08:00

I have found the manicure that I want on the hands of Nicole Kidman.

If my nails became strong and my cuticles would behave and my polish looked so lovely, things would be right in my world. I am just that easy.

I may have found the ticket, an affordable one no less, in Sally Hansen’s Nail Growth Miracle. It won a Glamour Reader’s Choice Glammy Award, is an Allure Editor’s Choice, and someone online said her thin, bendable nails are now so hard that she hurt her tooth trying to bite them.

I’m also trying to remember to moisturize my raggedy cuticles every night. L’Occitane’s 100% Pure Shea Butter is supposed to be good for rough feet, hands, elbows, knees, even hair. It’s retrieved directly from the fruit of the African shea tree and I’m banking on it’s fabulous abilities.

With nice nails it will be so wonderful, like a good hair day when you can relax and be your most charming self. I'm on my way.

Wedding Faces

2006-01-23T06:55:00.000-08:00

At a luau on our honeymoon, we met another young newlywed couple also from northern California. It became quickly evident to us that their marriage was not going to make it. The guy was just too much of a jerk. She seemed all right and I remember surreptitiously moving my eyes to her as we hung out with them, to gauge her reaction at her groom’s antics. That was almost thirteen years ago, and I believe surely they must be long over.

On weekends I usually scan the wedding and engagement announcements and the accompanying photos. What are the couples’ stories? Which ones are going to make it? Brooke and Gil from San Mateo who both went to UC Davis? Dana and Jason who were married in an outdoor ceremony in Lake Tahoe? Caroline and Eric who welcomed guests from as far away as Dubai, Singapore, Germany and the United Kingdom? Will they successfully juggle their demanding careers as they go forward in marriage (she’s a third year resident in pediatric medicine and he’s an attorney with a Harvard law degree)?

I wish them well, honestly. It would be nice if all of them enjoy long and happy lives together. Statistically though, some won’t.

In the novel The Pursuit of Alice Thrift, Alice comes up with the clever idea of revisiting these couples featured in the papers a year or five or ten later. What would the story be then? Alice says, “I’d enjoy that on a Sunday morning—scanning the wedding announcements stenciled with updates: NOT SPEAKING, DIVORCED, SEPARATED, ANNULLED, CHEATING ON HIM WITH THE POOL-MAINTENANCE GUY, GAVE BIRTH FIVE MONTHS LATER, IN COUNSELING, CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET—any number of interesting developments that reveal the truth about bride and grooms.”

Sometimes I think it’s a lottery, really. Who will get lucky and find the right person to spend their whole life with? To the faces in the newspaper, I say: Be kind to each other. Best wishes and good luck.

If You Ever Want To Bring Someone a Meal

2006-01-16T11:23:00.000-08:00

The best meal of the ones that neighbors brought to our house following the birth of our daughter years ago was a pork tenderloin, cous cous, and a spring salad mix with avocado, tomatoes, pecans and thinly sliced red pepper that’s one of my favorites to this day. The salad dressing, called Jamaica Mistake, is now a staple of mine and others I’ve shared it with. The worst aspect of the team dinner dropoffs was returning empty pans and containers, since I was usually up all night with Miss Colic Baby and couldn’t guarantee a time of day that the cleaned utensils could be picked up or brought back their owners. It’s a wonderful thing when friends or neighbors organize to take care of you though and I did manage to deliver, on stroller walks when I managed to get out of the house, thank you notes with little chocolates to everyone who extended their kindness.

A death in the family is another time when people rally around and provide sustenance for those in shock and sadness. According to recent online group discussion—just so you know—it’s not the best idea to bring a grieving family lasagna. It’s everyone’s “go to” meal under such circumstances. The recipients end up with lasagna for dinner too many times. A deli tray is also not ideal, apparently. While a meat and cheese platter may seem nice, it doesn’t compare to homemade food and it can’t get popped into the freezer, among other comments.

Not to make light of the topic of grieving families, but talking about so many yummy sounding meal ideas and recipes really made me hungry. Someone suggested Saucy Cocktail Meatballs with Cheesy Potato casserole, and to add a pan of brownies and maybe a vegetable dish. There was mention of Macaroni and Cheese “kicked up a notch with some nice cheese”—that being sharp white cheddar cheese and Gruyère. A Layered Salad that people rave about wanting to know what kind of dressing was on it (“I had to side step a lot to keep from saying just mayonnaise, sugar, and pepper,” the salad provider noted.) A Chicken/Artichoke/Olive Casserole. Soups and stews. Brownies, cookies or cake to round things out. I guess comfort food comforts even those of us who don’t really need comforting at the moment.

Here are some tips from those who have been there, either experiencing loss or helping someone getting through it: Entrees that can be frozen are good because a week or two later when all of the fresh food that’s been shared is gone, these items can be pulled out and heated up. Put the food in a disposable dish, or in one you don’t care about seeing again, and tape cooking and freezing directions on top. Paper plates, napkins or beverages are items are helpful for the family to have too. Waiting until the second week or later is also thoughtful, since by then many of the offerings are gone and the family would still appreciate it.

Let’s enjoy delicious food in good times and also share it with others who could use a hand.

P.S. I’d be glad to email recipes of the food mentioned herein if you’re interested.

I Have Discovered

2006-01-09T06:55:00.000-08:00

…a way to get to a live person at my credit card company even though the phone # they give out gives you no options to do so.

…having a fire in the fireplace is worth doing more often (it only took us seven years of living here to do this).

…Frederic Fekkai hair products are worth the price, for me.

…K. does a lot more to help around here than I thought.

…important things need to be handled early in the day, or they lose out.

…a willingness, finally, to deal with my lower back discomfort including proper ergonomics at the computer

…it’s really true that children are just as happy playing with boxes as with any toy you could buy at the store.

…blogging weekly works best for me (there’s lots of other writing going on here too).

…there’s a window of time—I don't know exactly what it is, it just feels right—in which I can let go of a bad purchase and not worry about the wasted money anymore.

…ginger cookies at Andronico’s.

…I no longer have crushes on any celebrities.

…that it’s up to me.

The Decisive Element

2006-01-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

Patience is not one of my strong suits. If the line is busy I’ll dial again two seconds later. When someone tells a rambling story or cannot get to her point soon enough, my head threatens to explode. Unfinished tasks make me crazy.

In the New Year, though, I’m going to mellow out. I’m going to become Assistant District Attorney Ron Carver from Law & Order: Criminal Intent. Even-tempered. Imperturbable.

Since watching re-runs of the show over the last week, I’m in awe of Carver (played by Courtney B. Vance). ADA Carver is no-nonsense, and a stickler for the crucial legal details. He makes witty remarks (“Your client's not insane... he's in love. Maybe it's hard to tell the two apart, but the law can.”). Even more interesting to me though is his demeanor. He is so freaking calm.

I remember nearly hyperventilating when given new, seemingly impossible deadlines at work. But Carver’s case can be falling apart before his eyes, and he’ll quietly and pointedly tell Goren and Ames that the arraignment is in less than two hours and they’d better get him additional evidence right now. Whatever happens though, he’ll handle it to his best ability without any rise in blood pressure or much facial movement.

The only other person I’ve come across like him is J.’s kindergarten teacher from last year. She would speak softly and diffuse any situation almost by magic. She never got ruffled by anything or any person, child or adult. Man, it was cool to behold. We parents were astonished at her powers and often discussed it outside the classroom.

How can I become more serene? What do I need to do?

Since the idiots of the world are not going away, nor will I be granted more than 24 hours per day, that leaves one option: Change my reaction. I don’t know how exactly, but I must become unvexable. I will say to myself (in a sing-songy tone), “You can’t bother me!” I will convince myself that I have plenty of time. I will slow down, calm down, channel Wayne Dyer.

As Goethe said, “"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element… In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated.” That would apply to a personal crisis or situation, probably. I can de-escalate instead of escalate the stress level—my choice. So I am challenged to build up that muscle called patience. Can I put that in the exercise category of my resolutions?

If You Recognize This, We've Been Friends For Awhile Now

2005-12-20T07:07:00.000-08:00

Hope you're enjoying this time of year. I'll be back soon!

Something That Annoys Me Greatly

2005-12-12T07:06:00.000-08:00

I generally try to stay positive and focus on the good. You’re better off if you just cut people some slack and let the little things go. But MY GOD, could I just enter and exit the grocery store in peace? Shouldn’t I expect a no-harassment zone in front of the place that I must regularly visit to browse Us Weekly, I mean, feed my family?

Because as it stands, every five days or so I’m being shouted at as to whether I’m a registered voter so that I can sign a petition. And someone’s ringing a bell at me even though I’m already donating money to charities in other ways. Even cute children block my path to sell me things that I don’t want.

When I’m not rushed or I’m feeling particularly nice, I’ll talk to these people. They’re just doing their thing even if I don’t agree with their approach. Most days though, for the love of Pete, might I just go into the store in silence and do my business? It seems like a reasonable request to me.

I came across a blogger recently who mentioned that he’s taken to involving himself in fake cell phone calls so that he’ll be left alone. That’s a good idea except for when I’m with my four-year-old, who might think that mommy’s lost her mind. So for now, I’m perfecting my “don’t mess with me” look, which isn’t my natural inclination.

Lost & Found

2005-12-05T06:37:00.000-08:00

Last night I wore my black belted pea coat out to dinner (it’s finally getting cold around here) and found some things in the pockets from many months ago. On one side was a movie ticket stub for Pooh’s Heffalump, which I took the girls to see one afternoon, and from the pocket on the other side, a ticket stub from the San Francisco symphony that my husband and I attended almost a year ago. Two very different kinds of outings but both fun. Alas, I found no money in the old jacket as I often do.

Recently I organized my closet a bit and found some long lost items inside purses I haven’t used in awhile: a certain lipstick (MAC “O” I believe), a bag of cough drops that may come in handy this winter (though I hope not), and some Clean & Clear blotting papers. I wonder what I’d find if I went through all the purses and jackets in our coat closet downstairs. You just never know.

The current contents of my purse includes some cool things I’d kind of forgotten about too (I knew they were there but haven’t really thought about it much until I looked): half of a chocolate peanut butter power bar (good to have on hand for some protein instead of buying junk food), a free toothbrush and mini toothpaste from the dentist, and a coupon for a free drink at Starbucks, which they gave me when there was a problem with my order a month ago (I think I’ll save for a time I have need for a “venti” amount of caffeine vs. my usual “tall”).

You may want to go check your pockets and purses. There could be something interesting.

I am the Kind of Person Who...

2005-11-28T06:00:00.000-08:00

feels compelled to eat some jujyfruits candy once in awhile.

doesn’t like watching sports on T.V. but enjoys having football games on because it feels homey and fall-like.

sometimes feels compelled to grab my kids to hug and kiss them even if they get mad.

should have Tivo by now.

finally figured out what colors look best on me and have not bought anything pastel since.

continues to chew gum even after the flavor is gone.

thinks meal planning and grocery shopping are the most tedious chores, yet feels guilty about it because we are so fortunate to be able to easily do such things.

adores books and being around books.

alphabetizes her spices (hey, it’s easier to find what you need that way).

would choose Twizzlers over chocolate.

is finally getting a holiday wreath for the front door this year.

lies awake at night after watching disturbing T.V. shows yet can’t stop watching them because they’re good.

has met some online friends in real life (we ate and shopped together in San Francisco).

likes both Angelina and Jennifer.

will be disappointed if you don’t leave a comment.

Georgia

2005-11-16T13:55:00.000-08:00

Driving around doing errands, I came to a red light where I stopped and noticed the green-with-white-writing sign above that said “Georgia St”—which made me think of the Georgia computer font, which made me think of my blog, because that was the font I used for posts on my old template, which reminded me again that I am remiss on updating here.

Does your mind work that way? One thing leading to another to another to another, thoughts hatching all over the place, never letting you rest? Or do I just need to learn to calm the heck down?

If you feel like it, look at something nearby and tell me what it reminds you of and what that reminds you of…

When Being Wrong is Adorably Right

2005-11-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

Why is it that when children say, spell or do something the wrong way, it’s so endearing? If only I regularly recorded the cuteness that goes on around here. I think I’ll remember all the little stuff but I don’t.

Getting ready to cook some chicken fricassee the other day, four-year-old-S. told us that she wanted to do the coupons. She kept saying that she wanted to put the coupons in. Finally we realized that she was talking about the buillions, as in chicken buillion cubes. Buillions, coupons—it seems the same to a little kid.

The girls often play school together and here’s a page from a math book that six-year-old J. recently made. I love how she tries her best to sound out words but ends up misspelling them:

There's more numbers on the next page where she writes, “twany, twanyone, twanytow” up to “therdy.” In case you’re wondering, as I was exercising on our Ellipse machine she came into the room and asked me how to spell “8”—so she didn’t come up with that one herself. She’s a smart kid, but “eight” is tough one for a first grader.

Here the girls incorrectly play Monopoly—one of my favorite childhood games that I always played in a serious manner, as any burgeoning economics major would. Except they flip over the playing board to the all-blue side to make it “the ocean” and use turned-over $500 bills to make the sandy beach. On one side of the water, as you may barely notice in the photo, are some little beachfront homes and hotels. Hey, we live in California. (Although I think their ocean interest is more inspired by Sponge Bob).

At least I finally made note of some this, right? Sigh. Non-scrapbooking mothers unite!

Getting What You Want

2005-10-31T06:45:00.000-08:00

Since we’re hours away from the month of November, perhaps I can safely talk about the topic of holiday gifts. I know you’re going to hate me for saying this but I’m close to being done with my Christmas shopping. Both of my children have birthdays within two days of Christmas (December 23rd and December 27th) and my husband’s is a week after the second child’s, so if I don’t get some of my shit together early it can be a more stressful time of year than it is already.

I’ve been thinking about my gift giving strategy or personality, or whatever you want to call it, and I’ve determined that I’m a practical yet thoughtful gift-giver. I really try to get something the person will all three: want, use and appreciate. I watch what family members eye in stores, make note of casual comments, and consider a person’s interests. Regarding presents for my children I also factor in what I can tolerate in my house, noise-wise and storage-wise. Other than that, I’m learning to make my gift selections then “let go,” trusting that they’re good enough and that it’s not that big of a deal in the grand scheme because no one remembers what you gave them the year before anyway.

When it comes to receiving gifts, I’m refining my approach. Some people like being surprised, but if you’re going that route you have to really trust that the gift giver knows your taste. To get what you want, what will truly bring a smile to your face when you unwrap it, you have to tell the person what to buy. Boring? Maybe. But it works. The season is about giving of course, and that’s really the fun part as far as I’m concerned, but the fact of the matter is that you will be receiving gifts too. It’s part of the deal. So I say you might as well not have your loved ones waste their money; they are going to be buying something for you, so let it be something you’ll enjoy.

This is the first year that I’ve created wish lists on certain online stores that I like (Amazon and Sephora). As it says at the Sephora gift registry set-up, “Don’t leave your friends and family guessing. Get what you want.” It feels obnoxious to do this but it’s also a lot of fun. Even if no one buys anything I’ve noted, creating my dream lists provided a vicarious shopping thrill, a sort of satisfaction without a credit card bill. I hope no one will be offended that I did it—but I’ll only tell them about it if they solicit gift ideas from me. Think of your favorite store or hobby and if there’s online shopping for it, maybe a gift registry will help a frazzled relative figure out what to get you.

Now if I could just figure out how to take the tedium out of holiday gift wrapping.

Note to Self

2005-10-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you
stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command,
and better tools will be found as you go along.

-Napoleon Hill

No more waiting, just jumping in. The quote's a reminder regarding some personal goals. Maybe you need to hear it too.

Party Like it’s 1985

2005-10-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday is K.’s 20th high school reunion. I’m not sure whether it will be fun or not, but there are a few indications that it may be ok.

1. I have a great outfit—a black Anne Klein dress, black 3” heeled strappy sandals, chandelier earrings and a red and black beaded purse that I got in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago (the earrings being the only thing I paid full price for).

2. It’s not my “show”—it’s his past we’re visiting, not mine. There’s less pressure being the charming wife.

3. The hotel we’re staying in, according to its web site, has custom made beds enveloped in 7 luxurious layers of designer Egyptian cotton linens. Sounds comfortable.

4. We know a a dozen or so people who are definitely attending. I like all except one.

5. There’s an open bar.

Why I Write

2005-10-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

I choose to write because it brings me clarity.

I choose to write because it brings me peace.

I choose to write because I can’t not write.

I choose to write to share something of interest with others.

I choose to write because the desire is strong.

I choose to write because it’s challenging and I want to get better.

I choose to write because I love words, stringing them together, seeing them on the page.

I choose to write because I admire good writing and I want to do it too.

I choose to write because it’s a way I can contribute and be happy.

I choose to write because it makes things better.

I choose to write because it’s a way to understand.

I choose to write because it provides answers.

I choose to write because it calms me down.

I choose to write because the day is incomplete without it.

I choose to write because it’s a thrill to do it well.

I choose to write because it’s a channel for wisdom and guidance.

I choose to write because I am more than a wife and mother.

I choose to write because it’s my only hope.

I choose to write because it’s fun.

10 Things That Made Me Smile

2005-10-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

1. I actually started cleaning and organizing the garage, which I’ve been meaning to do for many months. The new cabinet is no longer empty, the recycle bin is now filled, and there’s a bunch of stuff boxed up to donate. Yeah, there is a lot more to do. But I started and that, I believe, is a miracle.

2. A dozen delicious cupcakes that we girls enjoyed while daddy was away on a business trip. Who doesn’t smile at a beautiful cupcake?

3. Watching S. through the fence at preschool whenever I arrive early. She’s tooling around on a scooter, playing with classmates or skipping around singing to herself. Seeing your child on her own, happy, is so gratifying.

4. We finally got our carpets professionally cleaned. I was waiting until summer ended so there’d be less outdoor junk making it’s way indoors. It’s so nice and white…until I spill coffee on it again.

5. Speaking of coffee, I made a good batch and was so proud of myself. I’ll have to track the measurements of the coffee/milk/cream/sweeteners I use so that I can repeat the good combinations, instead of winging it each time!

6. Another mom at the elementary school mentioned that she has a clipboard for each child’s school paperwork (homework, fliers, fund-raising info) to keep it all in order. I copied the idea and I love it. The papers for each girl are now accessible and neat. Yes, I get excited by new organizing tricks.

7. Seeing J.’s happiness at having me in her first grade classroom volunteering every Monday. I can tell she’s proud to have me there and she’s affectionate with me outside during recess.

8. My favorite TV shows are on again: House, Cold Case, all of the Law & Orders, Without a Trace.

9. An enjoyable visit with K.'s parents at our house this weekend. I got to use the new cocktail napkins that say “It’s 5:00 somewhere” (my in-laws are by- the-clock social drinkers and luckily, they laughed and were not offended).

10. A new pedicure—which always gives me a lift, I’m shallow that way—with OPI’s classic I’m Not Really a Waitress shade that’s always mentioned in magazines. Quite nice.

Sudoku

2005-09-26T06:30:00.000-07:00

I’ve found a new time waster.

Our newspaper started running the Sudoku puzzle, which I’ve been eying but not trying because it looked like too much of a pain in the ass. Have you seen this one? It’s a grid of blank boxes and some numbers that you fill so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. You solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic; even though it’s all numbers, there’s no math involved.

The puzzle taunted me everyday as I read the nearby comics and advice columns. Finally my pride got the better of me and I started playing around with it as S. and I finished our lunch one day. I looked over the grids, evaluating any spots that might be a good starting point and trying to figure out what strategy you use to play this game.

Twenty minutes later, the dishes still on the table and lunch fixings all over the counter, I moved to the couch in the next room with the puzzle and my mechanical pencil. As I made progress and some of the boxes were now filled with numbers or notes to myself, it became too late to turn back. Even when I got stuck and it seemed impossible to finish, I’d already spent too much time on it, so I refused to quit.

Finally, I figured it out—it all came together. All the boxes were filled and I said to the paper, under my breath so little S. wouldn’t hear me, “Take that, [insert bad word].” And now I can’t stop playing.

(my first one)

Finally

2005-09-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain

There are certain minor annoyances in life that, while easy enough to fix, you just can’t be bothered. Well, you’re bothered all right, but not enough to take action. Then one day it’s time.

We refer to our only upstairs phone as the “sh!t phone”. When it rings and you’re not quite sure if you can make it downstairs in time, you’re screwed. You answer and at best, you’re stuck in the master bedroom, tethered to the bedside table. At worst, the phone cord slips out, disconnecting you from the caller, mid-conversation.

The s%#* phone started out loved, a wedding gift that we registered for and received. That was more than twelve years ago though. Maybe you’ve noticed how phone technology has changed over the last decade?

Yet we put up with the phone and its shenanigans for a long time. That phone has been given more chances than Charlie Sheen. But it never redeemed itself.

A few things occurred recently—none particularly compelling—that made us finally say, “Enough.” Time for a trip to the store to find a replacement. Of course, K. doesn’t need prodding to shop for electronic equipment, but we’re talking about a wife-sanctioned purchase, which I’m sure makes for more relaxing shopping.

And so the s%@* phone’s time is up and we’re ready to begin our irritation-free life. That is, if we can continue to ignore the other things around here that need addressing. One thing at a time.

Quotes of the Week

2005-09-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.
Robert Byrne

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Oscar Wilde

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family."
Jerry Seinfeld

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it.
Doris Day

P.S. Share a good one if you’ve got one!

We Will Return To Our Regularly Scheduled Program Shortly

2005-09-06T09:34:00.000-07:00

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be a pain.
-Maya Angelou

I will not again mention to my family how annoying it is to have this cold, which lasted all through the long weekend and remains today. See? I’m happily sipping coffee and blowing my nose, la la la, everything’s great.

When Your Birthday Falls On a Monday, Do You Still Do the Laundry?

2005-08-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

It feels like an ordinary day. But it’s kind of a holiday, for me anyway, since it’s my birthday.

The challenge is how to make a seemingly regular weekday kind of fun. This morning after I take my first grader and my preschooler to their schools, I will have exactly 2.5 hours (including travel time) to do whatever I want—no chores allowed. What should I do?

Here are some possibilities:

1. Buy a good cup of coffee, probably a vanilla soy latte, and read some of Billy Collins’ Picnic, Lightening.

-or-

2. Listen to Tom Petty—loud—on my husband’s (well, our) expensive stereo system. I heard American Girl on the radio the other day and decided I need some more of that.

-and-

3. Place an order at Sephora.com, probably for Escada and/or Hanoi Butterfly perfume and some spiffy free samples.

-plus-

4. Hmmm...my alone time might be over by then.

Well, there’s tonight too.

K. is coming home from work early to prepare his famous chicken fricassee for dinner. Afterward we’ll eat yummy white cake with white frosting.

I also have some unopened presents here waiting, including the Skagen Crystal Bezel Watch that I purchased for myself at Nordstroms last weekend. The sales lady beautifully wrapped it so that K. can present it to me as if he chose it himself. “Honey, how did you know?”

After the kids are in bed we’ll watch some of Six Feet Under, season 4 (which just came out on DVD).

Not bad for a Monday.

Sometimes I’m Just Too Nice, I Think

2005-08-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

Two guys slowly cross the commercial street, mid block, even as they see my car fast approaching. What is this arrogance? Reading NPR commentator Hollis Gillespie’s book of essays, I found out that she already has a name for this phenomenon: the "asshole stroll”.

Contrast this with the way I tend to quickly move to get out of car’s way, not just for safety reasons but out of politeness. In Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, I find that she accurately describes this other kind of approach: “When I’m about to cross a street and a car stops to let me go, I don’t just walk—I sort of jog—dodge across to, you know, show the driver that I’m not taking advantage of this situation. Yes, I, the pedestrian, have the right of way, but see, I care about you, too, here, just a sec, I’ll cross quickly and get out of your way.”

There must be a happy medium where you can own your space when it’s rightly yours, yet still be a good person.

The Storm Before the Calm

2005-08-16T14:03:00.000-07:00

Our trip was really fun, thanks for asking. But you know how it is when you return home. Plus school starts next week. This is what you get to do:

*Unpack four people’s suitcases and backpacks.

*Five loads of laundry. Give self a gold star for folding and putting everything single thing away.

*Plan week’s meals and grocery shop with two hyper kids.

*Return three phone messages and make calls to various places to fix errors (How much for the forgotten DVD that didn’t get returned pre-vacation? Where the heck is the Sunday newspaper we were supposed to have delivered on Monday when we returned?)

*Take car to the car wash, since it sat at airport parking lot for a week accumulating dirt, while husband’s much nicer car stayed home.

*Return tan blazer to Old Navy and impulsively buy the girls each a jacket and three pairs of pants for school.

*Shop at Trader Joe’s to pick up salad and sourdough bread for Mom’s lunch visit. Sample the coffee with fat free, French vanilla half and half and organic sugar. Decide to buy the half & half, it’s so good.

*Procure free balloons for the kids and beg for another when the four year old lets hers go in the frozen food aisle. Enjoy watching the girls make hot air balloons out of them when we get home, using dixie cups and some string.

*Go to the library to pick up books on hold, including eight terrific ones that I’ll try to read over the next few weeks (why do they all come in at once? It’s a happy problem.)

*Practice reading with soon-to-be first grader. She just read It’s a Great Day for Up by Dr. Suess to us out loud almost entirely by herself. Hooray!

Right now, I’m heading off to the Back to School Fair at the elementary school—parents only, which is the reason my mom is here to babysit—to stand in ten separate lines and fork over s much money as possible. (Spirit wear? Yearbook? $100 per family to save the school librarian and recess supervisor? Student family directory? Volunteer application? PTA enrollment? Tickets for the auction next spring?) At the end of the ordeal, though, we’ll get a folder indicating which teacher J. will have.

That’s just through Tuesday, there's plenty more to do. We're shopping for new fish (beloved red betta named Cherry died right before our trip; at least I didn’t need to find someone to care for it while we were gone…). There's also S.'s preschool Open House and preparation.

At least I’m finished buying everything on J.’s full-page list of supplies that we need to bring for the classroom, and we got a pink lunch box since she’ll now be eating at school. She’ll be there all day this year! Unbelievable.

I'll Be Back

2005-08-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

(click to enlarge)

Against the Grain

2005-08-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

On a message board I frequent, they recently held an informal poll where members (who generally discuss beauty and fashion and shopping, by the way) shared their unpopular opinions about various things. For example:

“I think puppies and kittens (and most animal babies) are cuter than human babies.”

“I don’t think wedding rings are more important than love.”

“I like Old Navy.”

“I don't think Angelina Jolie is all that.”

“I think stripping is degrading.”

“I don't like Sephora or Whole Foods.”

“I don't like dogs.”

“I hate all chain restaurants (ie: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Joe's Crab Shack, JGIF, Chili's.”

“I think SUVs should be limited to people who actually need them, and I'm not sad gas prices are high.”

“I don't steal music.”

“I don't like Hondas.”

“Target is overrated.”

“I'm an educated, conservative Republican.”

“I hate dogs.... and cats!”

“I think cat people can be really weird.”

Reading through the list, there are at least six “unpopular opinions” that I agree with. I could probably also add a few more items.

However, it occurs to me that there are some views I’d rather keep private. I’d prefer not argue about it or have you make a negative or incorrect judgment about me. But I will say that when we have dinner together, the reservation will NOT be at The Olive Garden.

New and Improved

2005-07-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome! You’re in the right place—I’ve just got a new look. Thanks to Daria of Web Divas for helping me with the transformation.

P.S. I'm working on updating my blog links. Let me know if you're missing, because I know it's been a long time since I've done anything with the list.

When Celebrities Make Sense

2005-07-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

This is obviously not going to be about Tom Cruise.

I just read the August issue of In Style magazine, in which actor Vince Vaughn is asked his favorites for various categories. They get to favorite “government leader” and this is his response: “I keep my politics to myself—I am just an actor making movies.” How refreshing.

While we’re talking about the stars of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, which I saw yesterday, here’s a similar quote I found—this time from Brad Pitt. “You shouldn't speak until you know what you're talking about. That's why I get uncomfortable with interviews. Reporters ask me what I feel China should do about Tibet. Who cares what I think China should do? They hand me a script. I'm a grown man who puts on makeup.” Sean Penn, are you listening?

Speaking of makeup (a very loose transition from the previous paragraph, yes) and getting more and more superficial as we go along here, I have to agree with Rebecca Romijn Stamos: “I'd have to say that, in general, models take themselves too seriously. Basically, they are genetic freaks who spend a couple of hours in hair and makeup.” Think about it; supermodels are people born with abnormal features like extreme height or big eyes and THEN they get worked on by professional artists. So none of us should feel bad about ourselves.

On the other hand, there’s no need to take such things so seriously. I like makeup and clothes and fashion magazines. Like Eva Mendes says, “It's fun to be a woman. It's fun to flirt and wear makeup and have boobs.” Yeah.

Finally, a boy topic. We had friends over for dinner this weekend and of course, the husbands were talking sports, which led to the subject of Boston Red Sox pitcher Bronson Arroyo—the latest pro athlete to moonlight as a musician. Isn’t being just one of those things—athlete or musician—enough to get you any woman/women you want, we all pondered? And here I find a quote from Kevin Bacon that’s right on point: “Any idiot can get laid when they're famous. That's easy. It's getting laid when you're not famous that takes some talent.” Unless you're a woman, of course.

Dear Flu Bug,

2005-07-12T11:09:00.000-07:00

Thank you for visiting us over the last few days, knocking us out one by one. You should really call first though, because we had reservations (and a babysitter) on Saturday night and the girls’ first soccer lessons on Monday afternoon—all which had to be missed because of you. The only good thing is that I may have lost a few pounds.

And now, you’ve overstayed your welcome. Since J. (age 6) got hit first and is the only one of us who’s mostly recovered, she’ll have to be the one to get off the couch and show you to the door. Please clean up the mess on your way out.

Sincerely,
M. Peterson

Party On, Waynette

2005-07-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

Did I need another apple wedger, particularly a very sharp stainless steel version that cut my finger the first time that I used it? Is it important for my skin to smell like Satsuma (a seedless mandarin orange)? Is it good to gather in the evening with a group of women under the pretense of attending a Pampered Chef or The Body Shop at Home product show? Now we’re getting somewhere.

It’s easy to blow off a product party invitation but sometimes there are reasons to say yes. Even if it seems slightly ridiculous when you look around and see eleven other women who are scrubbing their feet with a peppermint scrub in individual plastic dish tubs. Or if you really don’t care about the latest adjustable measuring spoons or barbecue tool bag. Because you’re hanging out with other women and drinking wine.

Do you want to know which second grade teacher at your daughter’s elementary school is pure evil? Would you like the chance to chat with other moms about how they got their husbands to fold the laundry? Do you want to get out of tonight’s put-the-kids-to-bed routine? Did I mention the wine?

Yes, I end up buying stuff. This mini muffin pan will come in handy if I would just stop getting the pre-made mini blueberry muffins at the grocery store, which always seems easier.

Also, this creative cutter set will help me make little decorative whatevers (little sandwiches? brownies?) as soon as I get around to inviting some of the girls’ friends for a play date this summer.

Of course, when my sesame body scrub and nut body butter comes,

I will use them religiously. Because the nurse who's a colleague of the party’s host has amazingly smooth, soft skin and she’s been regularly exfoliating and moisturizing for years.

So the products for sale can be a draw and you’ll probably wind up buying something. But it’s more about the socializing. And really, can you put a price on a little time away from home, some choice gossip or a new friendship?

Coffee Talk

2005-06-24T07:00:00.002-07:00

I’ve been to a few coffee shops this week, blissfully alone while the girls attend Vacation Bible School in the morning. My visits included three different Starbucks and a local café where a sign reads: Friends don’t let friends go to Starbucks. I work on writing class assignments or read a book, or as happened this week, get stuck in long conversations with people who desperately want to talk.

Despite what financial experts say about wasting money on coffee drinks (another article about this just ran in the Washington Post), each time I’ve gladly handed over $3.15 for a well-made single/tall/small (pick your lingo) latte. To me, that’s not much to pay for table rent.We all deserve small luxuries, especially if we are otherwise fiscally responsible. So lighten up, Frances*.

Standing in line today at Starbucks #3, the barista took the orders of a few of us in line who hadn’t yet reached the cash register. I always feel strange ordering before I get to the counter. How the heck is she going to remember what I yell over three people? We all have multi-faceted requests (size of drink, flavors, kind of milk, special requests) and I can’t fathom how someone could process all this information. Is this part of coffee school training?

I would say that 75% of the time the employees who write customer names on the cups spell mine wrong. Can you believe that some people have never even heard of spelling Marcia my way, i.e. NOT Marsha? People, what about Marcia Brady? Marcia Clark? (Well, forget her, but her name was in the news for awhile there). I know of someone who gives fake names when she orders her drinks at Starbucks. It’s tempting but I can’t bring myself to go through with it. Also, does anyone else hide their name from view once seated? Sometimes a little privacy is in order.

My sister doesn’t do paper cups. She orders her coffee or tea served with a real cup and saucer. So civilized. My fear is that my drink would never stay warm for long enough in an open cup. When I visited her last month though, we went to Peet’s and chatted as we sipped our drinks from big white mugs. It does feel nicer. (The effect was probably heightened because I rarely get to talk to my sister in person and alone. Such circumstances were arranged through agreement with our husbands that they would get their turn the next day at the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company while we watched the kids).

*Good for you if you recognize that quote. It wasn’t included on The American Film Institute top 100 movie quotes of all time, which just came out. Also, why is there nothing from Office Space on the list? Obviously the folks at AFI have never worked in a cubicle.

To Whom It May Concern

2005-06-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Summer Break, Day 2

2005-06-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

School is out and so far, so good. How hard can it be when your house is being professionally cleaned while you’re out shopping at Toys R Us? Fun for everyone.

We left the house by 9:00a.m., key under the mat for the cleaners, then headed to one of the local coffee shops. The girls colored on their scribble pads while I sipped my vanilla soy latte. A man who is always there at the same table came over to us to admire the girls’ work. Turns out he’s the artist who made all of the paintings on the walls. He told the girls to keep up the good work.

Next we were off to shop for a bigger bike for J., so that S. can have her old one. I agreed that S. could also get a small toy for herself. After testing out the only 18" girl’s bike left, we bought it, along with a new helmet and pads and two Sponge Bob toys that they conned me into (more below on that). As we were leaving the store, we ran into two of J’s kindergarten friends and their families. I guess the rest of the class didn’t get the memo: Meeting at the toy store, 11:00am.

So now we’re back in my gloriously clean house with fresh sheets on all the beds. We had lunch and afterward, I didn’t even want some of the frosted brownies that we made yesterday. I’m floored by my lack of desire for them at the moment, I mean it’s really remarkable. Maybe by 4:00p.m. things will change.

The kids are playing downstairs with their new stuff that I pried from all of their wrappings and twist ties and and then added batteries to. I swear, the toys aren’t even bothering me. The Krusty Krab Cash Register with Sponge Bob’s excited voice calling, “One Barnacle Bar, coming up!” and “Don’t forget your change!” is actually kind of cute. The Krabby Patty Station, with its sizzling sounds and Sponge Bob’s voice singing, “La la la la la la laaaa-aaah!”as he cooks and “Ta-da! The perfect krabby patty!” and “Order up, Squidward!” are still funny and not yet annoying.

It’s only 1:30 p.m. but I’m cautiously optimistic.

Is it cake season or something?

2005-06-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

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A few of the magazines that I subscribe to have photos of amazing cakes on their covers and in their articles. This one I want to eat:

And this one is so cute, I can almost envision myself making it:

It’s not even my birthday, and I’d love a piece of this one:

I’m wondering though, why these magazines are displaying such things, when bathing suit season is starting momentarily. It’s cruel, magazine editors. What am I supposed to do, ignore the cakes? Yeah, right.

Anaphora

2005-05-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

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This is a story about a girl and her flute.

This is a story about carrying the black case from my locker to band practice.

This is a story about typing up programs for a living room recital given to relatives (I liked planning and creating the show more than actually performing it).

This is a story about taking a few private lessons but not really caring that much about what I was doing.

This is a story about becoming “first flute” (the number one spot) and learning to play the piccolo (basically a tiny, high pitched flute) as part of my first flute duties.

This is a story about a frustrated music conductor, trying to corral a room full of restless kids.

This is a story about cleaning my shiny, silver instrument, inside and out.

This is a story about going to marching band camp, practicing our steps on a big green field.

This is a story about awful outfits and big furry hats and standing on the sidelines at football games, part mortified and part proud.

This is a story about the one song I remember performing—the music and the complicated patterns we marched into—Yesterday, by the Beatles.

This is a story about wishing I’d earned to play something cool, something useful, something “real life”—like the piano, a guitar or the drums.

This is a story about being glad for having learned to read sheet music (not that I could do it now, but at least I know what real musicians are “doing”) and having the experience of playing music.

This is a story about attending the San Francisco Symphony recently and marveling in the beauty of the sounds and the talent on the stage.

This is a story about remembering the finger positions of the notes, surprised to be able to play a song on my daughter’s recorder.

This is a story about ambivalence.

This is a story about reconciling the embarrassment of some of it with the gladness about doing it.

The Pendulum is Swinging

2005-05-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

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Feeling kind of overwhelmed, I decided to seek guidance before typing a new blog entry today. The quick and easy kind, that is, where some magical colored balls tell me what I should do.

My magic word for the day is BALANCE. It’s been a hectic, chore-filled day, so I think that divine sources are telling me that I have license to go read a book for 20 minutes. At least that's how I'm interpreting it.

To find your word of the day, go here and click on the Word Magic button on the left.

Life In 3's

2005-05-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

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realization: It only takes 35 minutes to get to the Napa, CA shopping outlet from here. So why aren’t I going on wine tastings more often?

unnerving: hearing a male voice answer his cell phone in the dressing room next door (the Banana Republic Outlet has unisex dressing rooms)

cool: fitting into the next size lower and realizing it’s not a fluke, because that happened at another store a few weeks ago too. (Could Pilates actually be effective?)

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annoying: having one of the contractors working at our house come upstairs and overhear an embarrassing phone conversation

redeeming: new baseboards and crown molding, and soon, I will never have to see that guy again

decorating tip: A new color of paint really makes a room. But taping pictures of Muppet babies all over the door works if you’re under 5, apparently.

*

realization #2: there is less than one month left of school.

feeling: Holy crap!

yet another realization: J. will never be a kindergartner again.(!)

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duh: grocery shopping is boring

discovery: $5 for the e-cart can solve the shopping part

but: you still have to put the groceries away at home

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interesting: Mother’s Day gifts from the girls were their own things wrapped (It’s a preschooler board book! Thanks!) There were also many, many cute cards and hugs and kisses.

Pumpkin: The clock has struck midnight and I’m back to cooking and chores. It sure was fun being catered to all day though. Can we do that holiday twice a year?

A keeper: J.’s kindergarten Mother’s Day project, below

(click to enlarge)

Everyday Starts at Zero

2005-05-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

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“Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It’s not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it’s when you’ve had everything to do and you’ve done it.” – Margaret Thatcher

I get a thrill from crossing items off my to-do list, maybe more so than most people. Forward movement is necessary for me to feel content. If a day starts to slip away and I haven’t actually finished something, I feel unsettled.

The last few days, for example: Paid the bills…check. Figured out the menu for a lunch party…good. Made that bothersome phone call… whew, a relief. Spent fifteen minutes decluttering…excellent. It can be any one thing or a few things, but it’s got to be something.

According to Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton, I am an “achiever”—that is, a person with a constant need for achievement. The authors state, “You feel as if everyday starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself…If the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied.”

This is an accurate assessment of me. Yet, it doesn’t completely define me. I’m also happy to read a book, hang out with the kids, or “waste” time. I can (and do) relax.

It’s just that most of time, a successful day or week means that I got stuff done. There. My blog entry is complete…check.

Things I’m Good At, Part I

2005-04-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

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1. managing money

2. spelling

3. loading the dishwasher properly (behold the master)

4. making sure the kids take vitamins and get enough sleep (it really helps)

5. the Jumble (newspaper game)

6. coming up with something clever to say AFTER it’s too late (like, that evening or a week later)

7. making soup (I should do it more often)

8. reading Green Eggs and Ham with emotion

9. wearing sunscreen everyday on my face and neck

10. making people feel comfortable and welcome

Things I am Bad At*, Part I

2005-04-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

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*Does that sound grammatically incorrect, or what?

1. wrapping presents

2. caring about gardening

3. letting people “get” to me

4. crafty things

5. returning erroneous purchases to stores in a timely manner (what a pain)

6. removing laundry stains (could they possibly have the kids wear smocks at preschool??)

7. remembering to say “extra hot” when ordering coffee drinks

8. telling the people I love that I love them

9. getting J.(age 6) to eat a breakfast other than Eggo waffles

10. opening wine (someone else always does it so I probably just need practice)

Maybe Another Time

2005-04-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

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The coast was clear, or so I thought. The girls were playing in another room—the door closed, with adults forbidden to participate in their little veterinary clinic (picture stuffed animals wrapped in tissue bandages everywhere). I had completed all but two chores on my to-do list for the day. I just sat down on our comfy leather couch with a hot mug of Cinnamon Apple Spice tea* and Vogue magazine.

*Imagine my extreme self-pride at having tea instead of a bowl of Cheez-its. Yes, it’s a strange kind of madness to scarf junk food while perusing fashion magazines and catalogs, but that’s my normal approach. So this is progress.

Of course, before taking even ONE sip of tea, the girls pour out from their bat cave and make their way downstairs. What is this radar they have? Mommy is on the phone, or mommy is reading something, or mommy just found a moment of silence…let’s go to her!

So now we are all sitting together watching a Sponge Bob Squarepants video that I picked up at the library today. Though not new to most people, we only recently discovered this program. There is a particular genius to a show that can make both kids and grownups laugh out loud (although at different jokes). Or maybe I’m just twisted. That could be it.

Who Knew? (That Math Could Be Cute, and Other Things)

2005-04-08T07:56:00.000-07:00

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Kindergarten isn’t what it used to be. J. is learning to read, count money and work at the school’s computer lab. Here’s part of yesterday’s class assignment about subtraction:

See, if you have five balloons and two pop, then you have three left! I have to smile as J. shows me her work—it’s so adorable. I don’t remember feeling that way about math homework before.

In other school news, J. received a red ticket today. That’s what you get from the teacher if, as J. explains it, “You’re really, really, really good.” What did she do today, I asked her, knowing there’s usually something “special” you have do to get a ticket. J. explained that no on else would sit with Jake, the class “bad boy,” except her. She said she didn’t want him to be alone at the reading area. So she’s got a good heart, which makes me as proud as seeing her academic progress.

On the preschool front, S. had an actual, not-cancelled field trip today. We went to the local library, a place she’s very familiar with—but we got a backroom tour. Who knew all those cubicles and offices were back there behind the checkout desk? I guess there are other things that librarians do behind the scenes. After a 30 minute story-time just for her class, we headed back to the school for snack time (yogurt, goldfish crackers and juice).

Later, after school pickups and a quick lunch, we were off to S.’s ballet class. While the three and four year old girls flutter around in the studio, the parents chat in the waiting room. Today I talked to a dad wearing a U.C.S.B. (University of California, Santa Barbara) sweatshirt, my alma mater. We exchanged stories about how we both met our spouses there. It turns out that there is a whole contingency of U.C.S.B. grads in our town; his two-block street alone has 5 grads and he’s met others at the gym and around town. (This is a bit unusual because we live in a in smallish town in northern California, and the school is in southern California). Anyway, time for an impromptu alumni party, I think.

Happiness is...

2005-04-01T17:00:00.000-08:00

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…a good cup of Teeccino (herbal coffee) this morning, made just right

…a clean house

…the thump of a package being delivered on the front porch, then opening it to find a blue Kenneth Cole Reaction shoe box containing some new sandals to wear today

…finding a great to read, especially one that makes me want to write: Billy Collins’ Sailing Alone Around the Room

…warm sunshine, perfect weather

…taking the girls to see daddy at the office and having pizza for lunch at Zachary’s in Berkeley (winner of 70 awards including Best Pizza in the San Francisco Bay Area)

…a brand new month, a fresh start

…K. remembering tooth fairy duties that I forgot to attend to last night (I had the money out on the counter but I fell asleep reading)

…realizing that I completed 9 of 10 goals set for first quarter 2005 (and that setting quarterly goals instead of monthly or annual ones works well for me)

…a manicure/pedicure appointment tomorrow

Bonus: ...reaching the one-year mark of blogging and deciding to keep going, even though I told myself I could quit if I wanted to

Right or Wrong?

2005-03-28T06:01:00.000-08:00

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1. Is it bad to sing along with Apollonia’s “Nasty Girls” (from the movie Purple Rain) as you pull out of the parking lot of your daughter’s Christian preschool? “Girls…it’s time to jam…nasty girls, dance, dance, dance!”

2. Is it wrong for an intelligent person to believe that there’s no way that tiny chocolate eggs or pastel m & m’s could cause any fatness? I mean really believe they don’t count, they just couldn’t?

3. Is there a “right” number of computer solitaire deals to expect before playing a winning hand? Winning too quickly isn’t fun (plus you feel like you now should go do whatever it was that you were avoiding in the first place). Waiting too long for victory is also annoying because just how much time do you want to waste on this game anyway?!

4. When coming across some old work-related documents on your computer, is it wrong to laugh out loud diabolically because you no longer have to do those reports? If so, I couldn’t help myself.

5. As spring break starts, is it right to feel minor dread (mixed with gladness, of course) to be with the kidlets all day long for days and days, possibly while it’s raining?

6. Is it wrong to eavesdrop on the girls while they’re playing, if only to listen to the cute things they say when grown-ups aren’t in the room? Where do they get their ideas from??

7. Is it improper to hate Mari Windsor and her inane babbling during the Windsor Pilates exercises while I’m breathing in and out, trying to stabilize my “powerhouse”?

Love is a Laptop

2005-03-21T09:42:00.000-08:00

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There is an unopened box downstairs with a Sony Vaio inside. My birthday’s not for five months, but what the heck? Sometimes it’s good to get things a little early.

I’ve been thinking about getting a laptop for awhile but strangely, K.’s the one who’s been pushing me to pull the trigger. Yesterday the stars aligned; the model we’d been considering went on sale and there was tax return money, and voila: it’s sitting in my kitchen. Next to the skinny brown box is a bag full of software, a wireless mouse and the phone number for the geek squad who will come set everything up tomorrow evening.

The reason that I’ve been putting off the laptop decision is that getting one makes me face my writing goals. Yes, it will be nice to check e-mail, shop online and read blogs while sitting outside this summer as the girls play. But the laptop represents potential writing projects, whatever they may be. Will I have to now take some bigger steps?

K. doesn’t sense that fear in me, or at least he believes in me enough to ignore it. You can’t discount his passion for buying anything electronic for any reason, anytime, that’s true. But to me, this purchase really means that he supports me and whatever writing I want to do. He doesn’t understand it, I don’t think—my need to write—but he sees how important it is to me and he thinks I should go for it.

My ambivalence about the purchase is giving way to enthusiasm. I’m excited to open the box. As James Stephens said, “Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.”

The Power of a Good Title (This is Not One of Them)

2005-03-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

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Have you ever wondered who gets the job of naming beauty products? Who gets to come up with the names for lip gloss shades, like “Blabbermouth” and “Slander” (Too Faced Cosmetics’ Gossip Glosses) or “Bing My Cherry”, “Water My Melon”, and “Spike My Punch” (The Balm lip plumpers)?

I’ve read that often it’s the marketing/product manager (MBA usually required) who creates the names. At some cosmetic lines it’s the company founder who does it, alone or with a team. At Benefit--a beauty company with great names like “Buh-Bye” for their zit-zapping cream and “Looking For a Good Man-darin” for a lipstick--they apparently hold meetings to come up with product names. On sephora.com, Benefit founder Jean Ford describes the process:

"Product naming sessions at Benefit typically take place on Friday afternoons. There are usually about 10 of us gathered around a table in the art department, munching on M & M's. The naming process is always done by democracy, everyone needs to buy into the name, whether it's a product name or shade name. Everyone votes, there are no egos and when we get it right everyone just lights up. We start by blurting out name ideas, then we vote thumbs up or thumbs down for our favorites. We don't try to be clever or witty, we try to come up with names that will make people laugh. At one meeting several years ago, we were all sitting around the table trying out a new body cream. It was really rich and creamy, and we all kept massaging it into our skin. It was a very seductive cream; it felt so silky and soft to the touch. This cream wasn't passive; it needed a more aggressive, action-oriented name. So, I said to the group 'We need a name that screams touch me then try to leave ... I dare you!' There was a brief silence, then everyone burst out laughing. My sister Jane turned to me and said, 'Jean, there's our name.' And so our Touch Me Then Try To Leave ... Cream was born."

Sounds better than any of the business meetings I’ve been part of (although we did have bagels sometimes).

If I were to hand out awards for best beauty product names, the envelope would have go to the ever-clever folks at OPI. For example, look at their newest nail collection, called Simply Zen-sational:

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The names of these polishes are:

• Miso Happy with this Color
• Osaka-to-Me Orange
• Dress to Empress
• Have a Tempura Tan-Trum
• Color of the Zen-tury
• Let Them Eat Rice Cake
• Holy Pink Pagoda!
• 18K Ginza Gold
• Most Honorable Red
• Suzi Sells Sushi by the Seashore
• You're Such a Kabuki Queen
• Don't Be Koi with Me

I’ll never look at miso soup the same way again.

In My Mind

2005-03-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

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There are things stuck in my mind that shouldn’t be there.

Inane melodies push their way to the front so that, for example, when I remind my kindergartener to bring her backpack to the car, I burst out into Dora the Explorer’s song, “Backpack, Backpack! Backpack, Backpack!” Of course, almost any children’s show that we view repeatedly results in brain takeover. “Wiggly party. (Party, party, party!)” from the Wiggles; “Get up on your feet and to everyone you meet, say hello (Hell-o, hell-o, hell-o)” from Dragon Tales; “Champion Charlie Brown!” (the one the Peanuts gang sings when he wins a spelling contest).

Often when I should be doing something, my brain makes associations and overtakes my train of thought. As I work on a writing class assignment where we are to come up with a bunch of “You can tell by the way…” philosophical statements—in my head, I keep hearing Maurice Gibb’s high-pitched voice singing the Stayin’ Alive song: “Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man: no time to talk. “ At least I was smiling as I wrote.

Sometimes, though, I think my subconscious is hard at work and actually trying to be helpful. Random songs will come to me at odd moments throughout the day where I’ll find myself humming or singing to myself. Once it was Cheryl Crow’s “All I wanna do is have some fun”—and when I stopped to think about the lyrics, I realized that at that time I really did need more fun, I was working too much. One time as I pulled my car into a parking lot, out of nowhere Bob Marley hijacked my mind and I heard, “Don’t worry, bout a thing, cause every little thing, gonna be alright.” Immediately, I stopped fretting about my crazy to-do list.

Maybe my problem is a mixed blessing.

There's no party without you

2005-03-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

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Looking for a gift idea for someone? Since I get a bazillion catalogs in the mail, let me help you out. Consider one of these:

For your wine-loving friends…

For your alcohol-in-general-loving friends…

For your sibling…

For the moms you know…

For a spouse (toothpaste device) …

For the cook in the family…

This one’s for me (I really like quiet)…

For anyone you love (or want to mock)…

These “compliment stones” have messages, in case you can’t read them from the picture:

Have you been working out?
You never have a bad hair day.
There's no party without you.
You are one smart cookie.
You look fabulous today.
You're setting the world on fire.
Your mother must be so proud.
Nice shoes.
Everyone wants to be you.
You are so easy to love.
You are always right.
You are a superhero.
You rock.

Just give me the one that says, “You are always right” and we’ll be fine.

Dear Abby,

2005-02-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

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One of my goals in life is to stop caring what other people think of me. That should be fairly simple but it’s not. There is no on/off switch for approval junkies.

As I get older, what other people think of me matters less—but I’m still not cured. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin no matter who is present. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far…a pep talk for myself. Maybe it will help your readers? Or perhaps you have some further insight or suggestions for me.

1. Around new people/acquaintances: This is me. I’m friendly and I want to be liked, but I’m not going to try so hard. If you aren’t interested, it’s your loss. It’s not reasonable that everyone will like me, love me or even give me the benefit of the doubt. So I’ll be myself, whatever form that takes today, and you can take it or leave it.

2. To Strangers in public places: You may judge me based on what you see. We all do that to each other to some extent. If you make incorrect assumptions or react negatively to what you perceive, I can’t worry about that. I can’t concern myself with what you think of me or my things. I will offer you a smile and wish you the best. It would be nice if you did the same. Either way, I’ll keep going about my business.

3. To Family/friends: You have your way, I have mine—sometimes they intersect. Other times, you may believe that your way is THE way. I can only shrug. I’m not here to validate your choices. I know what’s best for me. You can trust me on this or at least try to understand. If you choose not to, I will get over it. I will ignore your dissatisfaction, knowing that only I know my true path.

This is the crux of what I’m trying to master, a quote from life coach Martha Beck: “Learn to tolerate the anxiety of allowing people to disapprove of you.” I will try Martha, I will try.

Sincerely,
A Recovering Approval Addict

What’s Your Number?

2005-02-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

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A friend sent me "Dr. Phil’s Test", noted below. It's a quick quiz that some major corporations apparently use to assess current and prospective employees. I love personality tests so I did it, scoring a 35, which seems right for me. Wanna play? Answer these ten questions…

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you..
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with..
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're
interrupted ...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going
to sleep you are....
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they
should "handle with care."
You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is
extremely dominant. Others may admire you,
wishing they could be more like you, but don't
always trust you, hesitating to become too
deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an
exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive
personality; a natural leader, who's quick to
make decisions, though not always the right
ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome,
someone who will try anything once; someone
who takes chances and enjoys an adventure.
They enjoy being in your company because of
the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh,
lively, charming, amusing, practical, and
always interesting; someone who's constantly
in the center of attention, but sufficiently
well-balanced not to let it go to their head.
They also see you as kind, considerate, and
understanding; someone who'll always cheer
them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible,
cautious, careful & practical. They see you as
clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a
person who makes friends too quickly or
easily, but someone who's extremely loyal
to friends you do make and who expect the same
loyalty in return. Those who really get to
know you realize it takes a lot to shake your
trust in your friends, but equally that it
takes you a long time to get over if
that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as
painstaking and fussy. They see you as very
cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady
plodder. It would really surprise them if you
ever did something impulsively or on the spur
of the moment, expecting you to examine
everything carefully from every angle
and then, usually decide against it. They
think this reaction is caused partly by your
careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy,
nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs
looking after, who always wants someone else
to make the decisions & who doesn't want to
get involved with anyone or anything! They see
you as a worrier who always sees problems that
don't exist. Some people think you're
boring. Only those who know you well know that
you aren't.

P.S. Dr. Phil scored 55. He did this test on Oprah and she got a 38.

Just Send Me an E-mail

2005-02-15T13:41:00.000-08:00

.
This list can be found around the internet—I’m not sure where it originated. Fully half were true for me!

You know you're living in 2005 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a
business manner.

7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an
outside line.

8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three
different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.

11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home.

13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the
screen.

14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the
first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you
turn around to go and get it.

15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.

19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

Sweethearts, v.2005

2005-02-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

.
My younger daughter exchanged Valentines with her preschool friends today, and she received some Conversation Hearts. Looking at the candy, I saw some familiar sayings but was surprised to see some that weren’t around when I was a kid. These seemed familiar:

These are the additions of the 80’s, 90’s and new century, I guess--including “awesome” and “clueless,” plus “e-mail me” and “IM me.”

Then there’s “Whiz Kid”. Is that a compliment?? Are geeks cool now?

Really, all you need to know is this one though, a classic. The secret to marital bliss…

P.S. I found a site that let’s you create your own conversation hearts, although they limit you to two lines of four characters each. Don’t all the bad words have four letters? OK, here's a clean one I made:

Where Everybody Knows Your…Business

2005-02-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

I’ve been going to the wrong coffee shops. Usually I rotate between a few places, but I hadn’t been to the one downtown in awhile so I decided to shake things up. This café hosts a mixed crowd--blue collar folks, local artists, and ladies in yoga outfits who run in and out for lattes after exercise classes at the gym down the street. It’s an interesting combination.

They were out of chai, so I ordered some steamed soy milk and found a table in the back by a tiny raised stage that’s squeezed between the side wall and the front door. It’s an older place, on the verge of shabby, with scuffed and worn wooden flooring. Darkness reigns even when it's sunny outside, like being in a bar in the daytime. Couches on the other side of the room form a small conversation area, with newspapers strewn about and nearby shelves full of board games like Sorry, Battleship, Yahtzee, Trouble, Scrabble and more. Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon is playing.

As I read and write, I can’t help but overhear bits and pieces of conversations—not everything that’s said but enough to know there are some interesting things going on around here. This is not your suburban Starbucks crowd. That’s why it’s fun.

“I have a brother that’s a shitty mechanic.”

“People come here because it’s more laid back.”

[Unknown subject] “Like I said, it’s the six month rule.”

“Those are the ones you have to look out for…he looks normal…But then he busted out the carrots and the roller blades….You know it takes awhile to get over those things.”

“You know my ex-husband? We had our dresser in the closet… [she goes on to explain some fuchsia colored lingerie and how one day, she found it rolled up in a ball shoved between the furniture, clearly used]. “I was like, ‘Nah,’ because I didn’t want to believe… I think he wears it secretly… Well, he didn’t share it with me. You know it was one of those things where your heart drops. It was like, ‘No’…”

“How much is that muffin?” a customer asks. [She tells him and he sees how much money he has]. “You know how you suddenly realize as you’re standing in line somewhere that you don't have the cash you thought you did? I just bought gas and forgot I used my money…Then you’re in line and you’re like, ‘Damn.’””

[Employee tells customer about a new job she’s starting next week, how she won’t be working here anymore]. “It’s been a long time for this kind of job….yeah, I’m at the top of my barista game…I’ve been here two years. My drinks are great. They were bad in the beginning.”

Barista talking about the intelligence of her young son; having heard the word shithead, he started using the word dumphead. “It’s kind of the same thing,” she says. The leather clad motorcycle guy agrees, “He comprehended the meaning of the usage. He found a way he could say it and not get in trouble.”

[Unknown subject] “It’s hard to live something like that down.” Response: “Yeah, that was a biggie.”

[Unknown subject] “It’s different when they’re nuts though.”

[Talking about a guy they know] “…so he’s ok, huh?” The motorcycle guys tells her, “They knocked him down, then all of them jumped on top of him. They bashed his head. A lady driving by stopped her car and laid on the horn…” She replies, “I got jumped by eight girls once and I was ok. All I got was a black eye.”

If I were a fiction writer, I’d come back here just for some good material.

Ithaca, N.Y.

2005-02-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

(I lived here when I was 11-13 years old, sixth through eighth grade in school.)

I remember the giant white house with blue shutters on the windows and thick, imposing white columns across the front porch.

I remember lying in bed, terrified, because I read the Amityville Horror and saw Jody’s evil red eyes glowing in the dark.

I remember Buster, the wild part Arabian horse that a Cornell veterinary grad student housed in our barn.

I remember the smell of sulfur water when washing my hands or taking a shower—like rotten eggs.

I remember playing Monopoly on the back porch with my next door neighbor, Danny. It never crossed our minds that a white girl and a black boy wouldn’t be best friends.

I remember sitting at the kitchen table with my family on a chilly morning. My dad explained why he and mom were going to get a divorce. (Which didn’t happen—psych!—although they did divorce 15 years later).

I remember steering the riding lawn mower around the large property, excited to be “driving.” After I cut the grass, we’d (my dad and I?) rake it into piles. Then I’d drive around with my little sisters sitting behind me with the rakes in the attached red wagon, making pit-stops to gather up the grass piles into trash bags.

I remember having my first slumber party, a bunch of middle school girls in sleeping bags splayed out around my bedroom. I can picture Suzanne’s cute face and braces and being shocked to learn of her sexual experience. Such things were not on my radar at that time (I thought making out with John V. on the ski lift was pretty racy).

I remember typing a short story, a mystery called “The White Room.” Oh, how I wanted to write well. I’m pretty sure it sucked.

I remember my plastic record player, with Foreigner (Double Vision album?) turned up loud on a summer afternoon. I also remember a little gray cassette recorder that I used to record things. I can hear .38 Special singing, “Hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control…”

I remember more than I thought, as I start to write it down.

At Least I’m Not That Guy

2005-01-25T15:31:00.000-08:00

At 10:30 this morning, I grabbed the last table at Starbucks and sat with my very first Chai Latte. Both girls were in school (my little one for just 2.5 hours) and I had crammed in several errands—the Post Office, Target and Home Expo—then decided to treat myself to a half hour with a warm drink. I brought along materials to work on an assignment for a writing class that I’m taking.

For a brief moment I started to stress out (I’m good at that) about various things, particularly about not having enough time before I had to leave to pick up S. Then a few things happened.

I started my work and realized that I LOVE my new pen, a Pilot Dr. Grip Center of Gravity (“Balanced Axis!” “Turbo charged ink!”) that I got at Costco.

The woman next to me complimented me on my hair. She seemed really into it.

The Chai latte was quite good. Might be my new thing.

I noticed a young woman with glasses doing some serious studying for a class, a middle aged man with a laptop and work files spread out, concerned about whatever was on the screen, and an employee with a green apron changing the trash. That is, people doing un-fun stuff that they HAD to do vs. me, having a busy day, but of my own design.

Then two guys walked in together and sat by the window. “Tell me about yourself,” the older guy said to the younger one. Gah! Does it get any worse that being interviewed at Starbucks, selling yourself amidst all the people within earshot? I hope he gets the job, or at least someone buys him a cookie for trying.

Things I Need to Tell Him

2005-01-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

Is it strange that I just made a list of things to talk to my husband about when he comes home tonight? It’s been a busy day and we didn’t talk on the phone as usual, so I have lots of little things to tell that could get lost in the dinner-with-children and post-dinner, pre-bedtime madness.

None of it’s earth shattering but I just work better when things are written down vs. floating around out there in space, uncontained. So in the midst of the evening’s activities I’ll be trying to report: that I refilled his prescription for him, that my mom and new husband want to visit us soon, that the contractor working on our bathroom remodel will be here tomorrow at 8am to work for four hours, that I heard some more (reliable) gossip about which elementary school in our district is going to be closed (30% chance it’s ours!), that the mirror contractor was an asshole today, but we have a small chance of having the bathroom done before the birthday party we’re throwing for J’s kindergarten girlfriends on the 29th, and oh, I have some cash that he’ll have to remind me to give him tonight since I didn't get it earlier in the week like I usually do, and by the way how was your day, honey?

I’m also the kind of person who makes packing lists for trips, pencils in daily to-do lists in my planner, and prepares notes before placing business calls. So I guess it’s no surprise that I write everything else down too. Even a post-it note to prompt a conversation with my own husband.

Saturdays Are Even Better Than Fridays

2005-01-14T16:08:00.000-08:00

At 3:47 on Friday afternoon, I’ve been trying to write something all day but time is slipping away. I’ve been busy reading the same story repeatedly to my preschooler, watching Care Bear movies with both girls (they begged me and then narrated every scene to me with such zeal that I had to stay in the room), and now I’m even eating a mini-bag of Clifford the Big Red Dog cinnamon graham snacks. This is what I signed up for and I really like hanging out with the kidlets—believe me, it’s better than being at the office—but a mixed drink is calling my name.

Fortunately, I won’t have to wait too long. Tomorrow night I’m taking my husband to the city for his birthday. He’s a music lover and recently added classical music to his listening repertoire. Of course, he also appreciates good food. So here’s what we’re doing:

While my sister baby-sits, K. and I will first have dinner at Indigo Restaurant, which is new to us (the Pork Osso Bucco sounds good). Then we'll walk over to the San Francisco symphony to enjoy a Mozart/Schoenberg/Beethoven performance. We have left loge seats with this view:

We’ll also stay overnight at The Orchard Hotel, getting up in the morning at our leisure (which is still on the early side because by now we’re wired that way) and having breakfast somewhere in Union Square.

So I guess I can stop feeling sorry for myself and go get the girls a snack. Then I’ll fold laundry and clean up the house. Cause I’m getting out soon, baby!

The Promiscuous, Sinus-Pressured, Busy Housewife Blog

2005-01-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed that I’ve been posting less often. I have good reasons though. Every freaking member of my immediate family is having a birthday, we’re remodeling a bathroom and I have deadlines for a writing class. Plus, OMG you guys, Rainbow died last night! So I have to clean the aquarium again today in preparation of getting a new fish. *sigh*

But let’s not dwell on important or sad things. Instead, check out the latest Google searchs that led people to my blog. I bet these folks are really pleased to find me to help them out.

why does spring water that has trickled through mountains for centuries go out of date next year Good question. Anyone?

dr wayne dyer bullshit I’m sure this hostile person—who doesn’t love Wayne’s message?—found great success with those search terms.

housewife hookers Virginia Is there a club? Is it a large group??

what brand of cologne does simon lebon use I continue to get questions about Simon. I don’t know what he smells like but I’m sure it’s good.

Happiness is a good wife Agreed.

dealing with indiscreet tactless behaviors The insensitive people that I know are pretty open with their tactlessness, so I’m not sure I can help with this.

babysitter knocked unconscious That was totally not us.

weather related sinus pressure blog That’s me. The human weathervane.

hoop earrings promiscuous I pretty much always wear hoops, so…

madame pee pee I did use the word “pee pee” here once, so I deserve that.

Keep ‘em coming, I could use a laugh.

What I Learned Today

2005-01-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

Do fish sleep? Because this morning, our new betta fish, Rainbow, sure looked dead. He lay on the turquoise and navy gravel under the long vertical filter tube, behind the plants. J. and I watched him, her with mild interest; me, starting to panic. He was so still. I couldn’t perceive any rhythmic puckering of his tiny lips—was he breathing at all?

I called K. into the room and with complete sensitivity he concluded that Rainbow was probably dead. “No, no,” I said as if he were being silly, giving him a look that conveyed he better not say that again in front of J. “I’m sure he’s napping or something,” I said. “I’ve seen him being mellow in the plants before.” Then I snuck off to the computer in the next room and did a Google search.

The very first site provided the answer that I wanted to hear, so I looked no further. (How’s that for solid research?) “Guys!” I called into the other room. “Fish do sleep, kind of. They rest under logs at night or hide in reefs. Some kinds remain motionless.”

Minutes later Rainbow began swimming around, showing off his fancy fins, back to his old tricks. Thank God, because I bought him based on advice that bettas are much hardier than goldfish, so the damn thing better live for a long while. At least until J.’s next birthday. (Sorry, Rainbow, I do love ya, buddy.)

*Bonus Learning: Don't polish your nails after drinking a large glass of ice water, especially if you have a weak bladder. Because you're going to have to wait awhile...

My Little Capricorns

2004-12-27T14:13:00.000-08:00

This girl is now officially 6 years old…

…and this girl is now officially 4 years old.

Ok, you can stop growing up now!

See You Later

2004-12-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

The Secret Songster

2004-12-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

In another life I’d love to have a fabulous singing voice. I would wear a slinky but tasteful dress, stand onstage with a few backup musicians and do a little jazz number in front of an adoring audience. Every note and gesture would be just right.

In this life, however, I’m an occasional car singer who can’t hit most of her notes and would never sing in the presence of others. Driving along, I can convince myself—momentarily—that I am Stevie Nicks. Then I snap out of my reverie and the dissonance inside the vehicle is painfully obvious.

What I want is a way to learn how to sing that doesn’t involve lessons or any exertion on my part. The problem is that talented musicians make it look simple. A microphone and an earnest look are all it seems to take for beautiful sounds to come out of their mouths. I want that effortless perfection.

This is a just fantasy for me, after all. The way some people dream of winning an Olympic race without hitting the track everyday or writing a book without doing any actual writing—that’s how I feel about singing. I want the end result without the practice.

My sisters both have fabulous voices. They sing and play guitar, and everyone gushes about their talent (myself included). In fact, one of them is pursuing a music career. At a recent gathering, someone who doesn’t know our family well asked if I sing too, an easy assumption that people often make. “No. I’m the talent-less one,” I told him. (To which my dear Aunt Betty chimed in, “She’s a writer.”) It’s a bit disheartening though to have to continually explain that it’s strictly a double act.

When dismissing the idea of a possible musical trio, the argument that I make to myself is that my sisters already have “dibs” on the whole singing business. They’ve been practicing and performing for so many years that I’ll never catch up to their skill level. I’m sure they would gladly help me if I asked, but it would be humiliating to try to harmonize with the dynamic duo. Or is that just an excuse for not trying something that I might not be great at? Could this be the case of an admitted over-achiever who needs to lower her standards a bit in this one area?

Another admission is that I’m a certified introvert. I truly don’t want the spotlight except for limited, self-chosen moments. My professional musician sister may get a thrill from performing but I’d rather stay behind the scenes, away from the spectators. So what would be the purpose of learning to sing if I don’t even want to be heard? Who would I sing for—myself?

Well, maybe I could learn to sing for my own benefit. If I allowed vocal development to be merely a hobby, without any pressure to excel, I might enjoy myself. I could just see where it leads, with no expectations or even any objectives other than having fun.

I’ve heard that a way to improve your voice on an informal basis is to find some performers who sing in your range and practice singing along with their music. I’ve been trying this approach, but so far I’ve found only one band that works for me: Stone Temple Pilots—a once-popular rock and roll group. When STP comes on the radio, it’s like I’m channeling the lead singer Scott Weiland (but without the heroin addiction); I sound surprisingly good doing his material. While I’m encouraged by this, I’m not sure how it bodes for my musical future. There probably isn’t much interest in listening to someone do STP cover songs, so I may have to find another artist or two whose voice I can pleasingly replicate.

It’s a good start though, singing along with someone harmoniously. If I can drop the talent-for-free fantasy and accept that it takes work to learn how to do something new, I might be able to make some improvement. Clearly, I wasn’t born with the gift of a beautiful voice. But after practicing awhile I can always put on my best outfit, invite a friendly audience and maybe publicly sing one song in this lifetime.

Outwitted

2004-12-03T10:44:00.000-08:00

J.= kindergarten daughter
S. = preschool daughter

Me: You have doughnuts all over your face but you’re so cute that I don’t care.
S: You mean you don’t mind.
Me: Ok…[wondering, when did she become part of the grammar police?]

***

The girls make signs that they put up around the house with tape including ones that say, “No dogs, no dogs, no dogs” (when they’re playing with toy cats) and “Girls Only” on their bathroom door (to which they later added “and boys” so as not to hurt daddy’s feelings). My newest favorite though, is J.’s sign that reads, “No going here unless you really need to go here.”

***

Asking S. about the kids in her preschool class to find out who she’s friends with…

S: I know someone named Milan…
Me: What does she look like?
S: She’s little.
Me: [Gee thanks. Considering you’re all three years old, that’s a real helpful description]

BUT the next day at school when the kids lined up at recess, I saw Milan. She was tiny, much smaller than the other children. Touche, S. I apologize for underestimating your descriptive powers.

***

Lying in bed last night after story time…

J: Do you know why they call the number seven lucky?
Me: Hmm, not really. [I couldn’t think of a non-gambling reference fast enough]
J: I think it’s because you get to borrow things from the library for seven days and they don’t make you pay anything.
Me: Maybe you’re right.
J: I believe that’s why it’s lucky seven.

***

As I lecture S. about something the other day, I tell her that she has to be “a big girl”…

S: [interrupting my speech] But I’m just a medium girl.
Me: Well, yes…I guess I sometimes expect a lot of you, forgetting how young you really are.
S: I can’t wait til I’m four!

***

These kids keep me on my toes.

When People Don’t Act Like They’re Supposed To

2004-11-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

I’m working on not letting other people “get” to me but I still haven’t mastered it. Possibly I’m too easily bothered. Why can’t everybody be more like me?

You know how you’re supposed to look at yourself to see what personal issues are being mirrored back to you when someone or something drives you crazy? How supposedly the annoying qualities in others are actually things that you yourself need to work on? Sometimes I can see it, if I look hard and am really honest about it. Other times I think the theory is complete bullshit.

I’m thinking right now of someone who aggravates me and the things about this person that I don’t like. None of those traits or behaviors are like me. Really. I have my issues but those are not them. Unfortunately I can’t get more specific because we’re dealing here with classified (read: family) information.

Maybe what I need is a personal catchphrase—something I can repeat to myself when certain people are driving me crazy. That might be better than biting my tongue so hard that it hurts. Frank Costanza (George’s dad on Seinfeld) had “Serenity Now!” Remember that episode?

Frank: "Serenity now! Serenity now!"
George: "What is that?"
Frank: "The doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say 'serenity now!'"
George: "Are you supposed to yell it?"
Frank: "The man on the tape wasn't specific."

While I ponder what my own calming mantra should be, let me share some other strategies that I’ve come up with so far. As we’re heading deeper into the holiday season, you too may be dealing with people who are not as reasonable or enlightened as yourself so consider these approaches:

1. Eating Halloween candy that should not even be in the house anymore.

2. Laughing at the absurdity (noting that Ambrose Bierce defined absurdity as “a statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.”)

3. Venting on your blog in a vague way.

4. Realizing that an expectation that things will ever be different is dumb. Accept that some things are not going to change.

Peace be with you.

Report Cards, Family Style

2004-11-22T09:46:00.000-08:00

On Friday afternoon, K. and I participated in our very first parent-teacher conference. We expected the meeting to go well and the kindergarten teacher confirmed that J.’s doing great—both academically and socially. The report card that we took home included comments such as “J. is an outstanding student!” “She is a beginning reader at this time.” and “She is a good friend to others!”

So what were we, her parents, like when we went to school? While I was an honor roll student, one of K.’s claims to fame was being voted “Life of the Party” by his senior class. It’s interesting how our personalities and skills show up early in life. For kicks, I decided to look at our old school records—I hoped to find information going back as far as kindergarten, where J. is now.

Shall we compare Mommy and Daddy’s report cards from back in the day? As I suspected, I was an excellent student from the beginning. My kindergarten progress report states:

She learns quickly and seems to retain the knowledge well. She seems eager to learn, has an active mind, a good speaking vocabulary, and a good background of information…

The teacher also said:

She is a leader in the group, is dependable, accepts responsibility, appears happy, relaxed and secure with the teacher and the group. She listens without interrupting, respects the feeling of others, is self-reliant and self-confident and alert in following directions.

See? I was a model student. Let’s take a look at K’s records now. You can see how he took a slightly different approach in the classroom. There wasn’t much in his kindergarten report but subsequent grade reports show the following:

"K. is a very capable student. I will continue to work with him on exhibiting more self-discipline at the appropriate times.” (grade 2)

“Good peer relations.” (grade 3)

“K. is especially well-liked by his peers (and his teacher!). Now with spring in the air, he needs to work very hard for self-control.”

“Too social!” (grade 5)

“K. has been a fun student. He is an excellent and well-poised oral reader and speaker…” (grade 5)

J. would probably enjoy hearing those comments about her parents. But seriously, what I’ve learned as an adult is that there are different roads to success in life. If we play to our personal strengths, we have the best chance at achievement. While I’ve done well professionally using thinking skills and following the rules, K. has built a successful career in sales using his best talents, which include his social skills and likability (plus, of course, a lot of hard work). We hope that J.’s first, positive evaluation is an indication of a bright future doing whatever she wants to do!

Is It Really That Time Again?

2004-11-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

You don’t want to hear this and I don’t want to say it, but there are 38 shopping days left until you-know-what.

I’m one of the annoying people usually done with my shopping by this time, however that is not the case this year. I am fortunate in that several of the more daunting gifts are out of the way, i.e. parental in-laws, my mother and my husband; plus I have most of the girls’ things. I should feel good about that but truthfully, circumstances made those presents easy.

On my husband’s side of the family, we’ve started drawing names instead of buying every single person a present. They are People With Everything & Money To Buy More types, plus there are a bunch of nieces and nephews. The four adult couples (including us) now draw another couple’s name and spend about $100 on them. The children each draw a name as well, and spend about $25 on a gift for the chosen cousin. For the second year in a row, we drew K.’s parents as our giftee and bless their hearts, they told us want they wanted. A nice, stainless steel toaster oven, which I found at online in the right price range. Hooray!

I’m also done with my Mom’s gift because there were a few things that she didn’t receive as a wedding gift that she wanted. When she last visited, she mentioned one of those items to me and I went out and immediately bought it. There’s also something that I usually get her each year that I can’t mention (a subscription to a certain magazine—shhh) because there’s a good chance that she is reading this.

Now, a confession. K. and I are very lazy about holiday gifts for each other. We often get a household appliance and call it our gift to each other; this year is no different. We’re about to remodel the half bathroom downstairs and the project is going to cost more than we saved for it (what a surprise). So we’re calling the extra cost to complete the project properly our mutual gift.

Does this look like a girl who loves Care Bears?

Both daughters would be happy with a Care Bear themed Christmas. I already got them a few new bears (ones I never heard of, since the CB makers keep producing new characters just to keep my visa card active) and a Care Bear DVD from Costco. I also did a stealth Target run after dinner one night last week and got a few other, non-CB gifts for them that I’ve stashed in the closet.

You may also recall that both children’s birthdays are within two days of Christmas (December 23rd and 27th) so I need to buy gifts for those occasions as well. I know what they want for their birthdays and I think I’m going to get it for them: pet fish. Kind of hard to hide though.

Unfortunately I can’t just sit here and pat myself on the back for what I’ve planned and accomplished so far because there is more to be done. I still have a bunch of shopping to do and I ask you, if you have any gift ideas for dads, siblings, or 7-8 year old nieces, to please speak up. Or if you’d like to tell me what you’d like most for the holidays, I’m listening.

I Can Relate...

2004-11-12T15:00:00.000-08:00

"Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do."
-Jean Paul Sartre

When In Doubt

2004-11-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

Stop and get gas for your car, even if you have some left?
-Yes. A full tank is quite satisfying.

Snuggle with your kid vs. anything on your to-do list?
-Yes. Always.

Whistle in a public place, particularly a store that I’m in?
-No. Never OK.

Eat leftover Halloween candy?
-Yes, for 7 days. Then step away. (Self? It’s over. It’s November 8th.)

Go somewhere alone (without children) for a couple of hours if your spouse is offering you a “hall pass”?
-Leave. Say goodbye and don’t look back.

Watch Angels in America?
-If you have an open mind and six hours, I say yes, absolutely yes. It’s quite something.

Kiss your five year old, even if she gets annoyed?
-Sometimes it can’t be helped. And when she wipes it off, taunt her with, “The love’s still there!”

Pumpkin Spice latte at Starbucks?
-I say no, they’re yucky. Your call.

Do something nice for someone, “just because”?
-Yes, right away, before the inspiration’s gone.

Things to Think About

2004-11-03T15:52:00.000-08:00

Perhaps you could use a bit of levity today? Area 51 offers some things to ponder:

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a pit bull humps your leg you'd better fake an orgasm.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right.

The easiest way to find something that's lost is to buy a replacement.

How come when you open a can of evaporated milk it's still there?

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic?'

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why is a package transported in a car called shipment, but on a ship it's called cargo?

Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?

Why is Lisp spelt with an "S"?

Champion Charlie Brown!

2004-10-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Lately, we’ve been watching old Charlie Brown movies, which means that I have a couple of new expressions I can use when stifling the urge to swear (due to the presence of children). You may hear me saying “Good grief!” around the house or “You blockhead!” while driving. There are few movies that offer good, clean fun with practical application for parents, but Charlie Brown videos fit the bill.

I enjoy watching these movies with the girls (ages 3 and 5), unlike most of the other shows they’re interested in. It’s also fun to hear S. referring to Snoopy as the “Easter Bagel” (instead of the Easter Beagle), to watch her new habit of dragging a blanket around the house to copy Linus, and to listen to both girls go on and on about Marcie cracking the eggs into the pot of hot water (instead of boiling them whole) when trying to make colored Easter eggs (“Marcie! You made egg soup!” Peppermint Patty screams).

As we watch the videos together, the girls have questions and observations, such as:

Why is Lucy so mean? Why does she always pull the football away from Charlie Brown?”

“She said a bad word!” (stupid)

“Why is he like that?” (about Pigpen)

“He can play the piano really well. He’s a lot older than the others.” (about Schroeder)

Also, while listening to classical music after dinner, J. proudly informs her daddy that “Schroeder has a closet full of Beethoven statues.”

“Why do the grown ups talk like that?” (mwa-mwa-mwah, mwa-mwah…)

“He has a lot of things in his house.” (about Snoopy)

“He’s not an ordinary dog.”

“Why does Marcie call Peppermint Patty ‘Sir’?”

As for me, my biggest problem now is that I cannot get the “Champion Charlie Brown” song—the one they sing when he wins a spelling contest—out of my mind. It comes to me at odd moments throughout the day and I’ll sing it out loud to the girls while pointing at them liked a crazed lounge singer. That’s what happens when you revisit the Peanuts gang. Check your local library for availability.

On the Q.T.

2004-10-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

I am not the kind of person who likes to draw attention to herself. Some of the people in my town, however, are making it hard for me. Is it just where I live that all the indiscreet people work?

For example, at my doctor’s office, they take you to an area next to the examining rooms in order to take your blood pressure and weight. The nurse loves to shout out—and I do mean yell—the weight measurement. As she screams the number, oblivious to me sitting there, horrified and exposed, I wonder how she can be so tactless. I want to clarify, for all the people sitting within earshot, “I’m tall…that weight is not so bad if you're tall!” You’d think a kind nurse would recognize the delicacy of the situation and lower her voice a bit.

There’s also a wacky lady at the library, a place that I frequent. Most of the librarians are great, but this one person has an interesting check-out style. I’ll hoist my stack of materials onto the counter and she’ll peruse them, flip them over, have a look—as if she’s contemplating purchasing them herself. I stand there uncomfortably, mentally willing her to just scan the items, because I know what’s coming next. “What’s this book about?” she asks. I pause a few beats, hoping she’ll understand that I don’t really want to get into it. But she’s clueless so I fumble for a quick explanation, wanting to actually say, “I haven’t read it yet. If you’ll just let me have it, I'll give you a book report when I come back”. Then she continues to go through my pile, examining all the titles that reveal my personal interests. I feel like she’s holding up my underwear for inspection in front of the other patrons until finally I escape.

Then we have the pharmacy, a busy spot inside the local grocery store. When you pick up a prescription, they take it out of the bag to show it to you before you pay, to make sure it’s the correct medicine. That’s fine, but there’s nothing subtle in their technique. They open up the bottle or package inside and brandish the medication at you and all the people waiting within three feet of you. I’m nodding quickly, with a panicked look that says, “Can’t we do this a bit more covertly?” Too late. Now the nice older gentleman with whom I was chatting over the tomatoes knows which form of birth control I use. Great.

This is part of the reason that I have never wished for fame (Fortune? Sure. I've got no problem with that). I just want what’s “my business” to remain with me until I decide to share it. That sounds fair, doesn’t it? Or maybe I could do my errands in your town instead.

Say Something

2004-10-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

This is my Public Service Announcement for the day: Bloggers like receiving comments. I will go out on a limb here and say that bloggers adore comments. Many of us have even affectionately referred to ourselves as comment whores. Nice, huh?

Seeing a new comment on a blog entry is a highlight of my day. Well, maybe not a highlight, but a pleasant surprise. Perhaps it’s a bit like an attention-starved celebrity who confuses applause with love, but I’ll admit to liking some feedback.

Can you expect constant interest and approval from your readers? No. Once in awhile though, a post will generate a lot of comments and it’s hard not to get that Sally Field “You like me! You really like me!” feeling. However, it’s dangerous to care too much about whether other people respond or not.

What I’ve learned is that you have to be happy with your work for its own sake, whether or not other people react publicly to it. If you know that it’s a solid effort, then that needs to be satisfaction enough. Otherwise, you’ll feel bad when there’s no reason to.

With that said, if you’re a new or visiting reader, feel free to leave some feedback. If you got here via Blog Explosion, let me know that you stopped by. If you’re feeling shy, if you think it doesn’t matter whether you say anything, or if you want to make my day, let me make it clear: Please chime in. Go ahead, it’s fun.

Ambivalence, Rain Down On Me

2004-10-19T13:36:00.000-07:00

I love hearing the rain drumming on the roof when I’m cozy inside. I hate sinus pain triggered by the change in the atmospheric pressure.

I like seeing the girls’ excitement about their raincoats and umbrellas. I don’t like having my head hurt so badly all night—even with two Advils—that I can’t sleep.

I appreciate my new friend Tara, who smuggled some drugs onto the elementary school campus (OTC stuff from Safeway, don’t worry) that she swears will help me. I could do without useless medical websites informing me that weather-health connections aren’t real; that sinus pain tends to worsen as you bend forward or lie down (yes, I’m well aware); and that storm-related sinus headaches are probably migraine variants (please, no!).

I’m (secretly) glad that the preschool field trip to the pumpkin patch was cancelled due to the weather. I’m sorry that S. didn’t get to go, but she didn’t even mind. (It was her turn to bring the class refreshments and the snack-bringer gets the honor of snuffing out a candle. She did not want to miss her chance at this, pumpkin be damned.)

I’m fond of hot chocolate on a rainy afternoon. But I might ask you at some point to smash open my head to relieve the pressure inside.

Things I Wonder About

2004-10-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

~Does Sandra Lee of Semi-Homemade Cooking fame really eat the stuff she makes on her show, as she pretends to do? Or does she just taste her concoctions on camera, cooing about how wonderful they are and then feed the rest to the crew? Because unless she has the metabolism of a crack-addicted hummingbird, there is no way she is eating such fattening creations everyday and wearing those cute little outfits, ok?

~Do the hosts on the home shopping channels have to sign a contract relinquishing their souls before going on-air? When they tell you with such sincerity that each and every item they sell is absolutely fabulous, and they use it themselves and it's truly life-altering…are they able to go home and sleep at night? (Asked by someone who has bought a few things from these people; that’s how good they can be.)

~If you’re watching the TV-edited version of Sex and the City while you exercise, when they dub over the dialog, is it OK to each time shout out the bad words that were actually said? “Hey honey, she really said #@$%&!”

~How do Marg Helgenberger and David Caruso (Catherine and Horatio on CSI and CSI Miami, respectively) act their parts with straight faces? How many takes do they need to speak in that way, to spew out such swaggering, over-exaggerated confidence? And in Caruso's case, to use his sunglasses as a ridiculous prop in every opening scene?

~Also, does it bother anyone else that Crime Scene Investigators are performing actual police work? Why are these science geeks interrogating suspects and arresting people?

~Did you ever notice that when a known actor guest stars on Law and Order, that, even if it’s made to seem like he or she has a peripheral role, he always turns out to be integrally involved in the crime? As in, oh, there’s Jane Krakowski (from Ally McBeal) so at the very end of the show, despite several red herrings, the twist will be that she is the killer.

~Does it drive anyone else crazy when impossibly beautiful people are cast to perform real-life jobs for which someone like themselves would hardly be taken seriously? Does every assistant D.A. or firefighter have $500 blond highlights or perfect brunette ringlets? Would a policewoman show such cleavage at a crime scene? Do most male doctors look as though they could moonlight doing GQ covers? (Well, that could be nice.)

~Is it okay to pine over TV characters that you have a crush on (for example, Martin on Without a Trace) as long as your husband is aware of it? Particularly if he believes that Martin’s love interest on the show, Samantha, is pretty hot?

It's Picture Day

2004-10-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

Here are a few photos from events that I’ve blogged about. It starts sweetly, but ends with a couple of pictures that probably won’t make my mom’s wedding photo album...

the girls in their flower car at the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk

the first day of kindergarten|

preschool bike-a-thon|

my sisters in the limo, pre-wedding

"models" on the runway, with bride (my Mom) and groom to the right

the bridesmaids ask the limo driver to pull over for a photo at the crazy S.F. 49er house

(note: click on any picture to enlarge)

The Princess and The Mouse

2004-10-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

I am the kind of mother who dreads Halloween.

For two reasons, mainly: the costumes and the candy. The problem with costumes is that I’m not interested in making them, but I also refuse to spend much money on something the kids will wear one night for two hours. The outfits should also be warm enough for walking around outside on a dark, chilly night (there goes half of the cutesy girl costumes).

This year however, my prayers have been answered. We have two brand new costumes that cost $6 each, which the girls picked out themselves and are committed (no mind-changing allowed) to wearing. The simple costumes, a princess for J. and a mouse for S., came from Old Navy’s online catalog. The princess set is a pointy pink hat with some ribbons coming out of the top of it, a pink skirt and a wand; the mouse set is a headband with mouse ears and a tail that’s attached to an elastic belt. We’ll add in the rest with things we’ve already got, like long sleeved tops that go with the outfits and warm bottoms (tights for the princess, gray sweats for the mouse), plus I’ll use makeup to draw a nose and whiskers on the little mouse. Done!

The candy dilemma is a bit trickier. I want to minimize the amount of candy that I consume before Halloween, while also having the goods far enough in advance that I’m not squeezing in a special candy-shopping trip at the last minute. I’ll also mention that we need A LOT of candy. We live in the middle of two elementary schools and easily pass out five bags worth of candy on Halloween night.

I know that an easy answer would be to shop early, but buy something that I don’t like, so that I don’t eat any candy. Don’t get logical on me. For some reason, I have this need to pass out “good” candy (like Peanut Butter cups, M & M’s, Snickers, etc.). I always see nice combination packages at the store that seem just right.

After stocking up, there are plenty of goodies in the house—certainly enough that we can each have just one or two pieces after dinner for a few nights. But you and I both know that once the bag is opened, it’s over. Before you know it, my ass size has increased by two pounds per cheek before we hit daylight savings time.

I’m considering passing out some kind of Halloween trinket in lieu of candy this year, like the novelties you find at The Oriental Trading Company. Would the kids groan as I fill their loot bags? Do I care? These are the questions I need to ponder.

A Very Short Wedding Recap

2004-10-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

My mother got married on Sunday—a full blown 200 guest wedding in which my aunt and my two sisters and I were the bridesmaids. I’m still tired!

I’ll let the girls tell you their favorite part about the wedding.

S: “The cake.”

J: “The dancing.”

Enthralled by their mommy’s and aunts’ crazy dance floor antics, the girls joined in for “Love Shack” by the B-52’s and other wedding reception classics. They also learned the motions for “YMCA” by the Village People—a skill they’ll use for many years.

I myself enjoyed the champagne limo ride. I could get used to that.

$miling and Doing Lap$

2004-09-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

It’s another day of check writing now that the girls are students.

First, it’s picture day at J’s elementary school. Of course I signed up for one of the bigger photo packages. I mean, she’ll only be five years old once and we’ll need lots of pictures documenting her cuteness to share with everybody. I told her to be sure to smile nicely—no pressure!

What will be really fun is seeing the class photo of the twenty kindergarteners and their teacher. The other day I mesmerized the girls with my own elementary school class photos (was it how unbelievably young their mommy once was or just the 1970’s clothing that was so funny?). What surprised me was my recollection of the names of the kids in the photos, people who haven’t been part of my existence for almost thirty years.

In the middle of the top row in the photos from both 1st and 3rd grades, I see Steve Noecker— my first crush. There’s Terry-something in the 2nd and 3rd grade photos, the pretty, blond-haired, brown-eyed girl who was actually popular and sweet. There’s also Kim Brice, the poor little girl about whom we sang (to the tune of the old rice-a-roni commercials), “Brice-a-roni, a San Francisco spoiled treat.” Nice.

Moving along to the next item on the “deplete mommy and daddy’s checking account” campaign, we have the Trike-a-thon at S’s preschool. It’s the school’s biggest fund raising event, where the little ones peddle (oops, I mean pedal) for dollars. They’re supposed to collect pledges tied to the number of laps they ride around the parking lot or they can get flat rate pledges. Call me obstinate, practical, lazy or kind (your pick), but I refuse to solicit friends and family for money. I’ll just donate a decent-sized lump sum and call it done.

I’ll also volunteer to help the bikers on Thursday morning. In preschool yesterday, S. made a license plate for her bike—a project involving glue and colorful glitter—so I know it will be quite an extravaganza. Does anyone else need any money for anything?

The Shortest Entry So Far

2004-09-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

Do you ever start writing something but decide that you don’t like it? Then you begin again but that’s not really what you want to talk about either? Finally the time for the endeavor runs out and you just call it a day...

I will tell you that I had bacon three out of the last four days, each time cooked to crispy perfection (in a BLT salad, a club sandwich and with sunny side up eggs). Life is good.

How Did You Get Here?

2004-09-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

It’s interesting to check on the blog’s site statistics from time to time, especially the search engine results (Google, Yahoo, AOL) that lead people here.

Looking over the data, there are searches for normal or funny things that just directed people to the wrong place; searches that reveal people who need more help than the internet can reasonably provide; and searches that expose the slimy path of online perverts.

For example, here are recent search engine keywords used to find this site:
mixed wrestling scissors – Is this an actual wrestling hold or something?

sweet and exciting messages - WTH?

bastard on the couch – Yes, that was from one of my very first posts but it’s a book title, not a reference to my husband.

listen to answering messages by celebrities – “This is Britney Spears-Federline and I am spiraling downward.”

Costco rotisserie chickens - They’re very good and I have raved about them here. I don’t have any for you though.

Marcia and Simon Lebon - There are pictures of us?

car-sick winding me – So, are you telling me this or asking for help?

Marcia jan brady bikini - Marcia or Jan--not picky, eh? What about Cindy?

nude mommies - yuck, yuck, yuck. No, there is no nude mommy here and I feel slimed that this person might even have clicked on my site.

he gives me mixed messages - Ok, and what do you want the internet to do about it?

If you're sane, you're welcome to leave a comment if you wish.

Morning Routines

2004-09-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

I haven’t done one of these questionnaires in awhile. It’s from the current Friday Forum, which I received today via e-mail. Yes, I’m posting them a day early…

1. Starting with your head down to your toes, what health/beauty
products have you used/applied to your body so far today? [For
example, shampoo, toothpaste, makeup, cologne/perfume, nail
polish, etc.]

Brushed teeth with Crest Whitening + Scope, only because I’m trying to use it up so I can get back to Crest Vivid White (which is surprisingly effective). Wash face with glycolic cleanser, then apply Sage SPF 25 and let it sink in for about 5-10 minutes while I get dressed.

Oh boy, on paper this part is going to sound worse than it is. The makeup today is a mixture of Almay and Clinique foundation, Trish McEvoy concealer, Bare Minerals over both, then NARS blush in orgasm (how’s that for a great color?), Smashbox eye shadow (light neutrals), Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner in sepia ink, Maybelline Great Lash mascara, and LORAC lipstick in a “my lips but better” color.

I’m wearing a perfume called Casual. My nails already have a peeling coat of Nail Envy (a nail strengthener) and my toenails have a dark rose shade from a pedicure of almost 2 weeks ago that's holding up very nicely.

2. Do you have a ritual when you take a shower, such as
washing your hair first or maybe even brushing your teeth in the
shower? If so, what? Do you prefer baths or showers, usually?

Showers only; I can barely recall when I last took a bath. The routine is: wash hair, condition hair. While said conditioning is happening, wash face and body, and shave. Rinse hair and get out.

Pretty straight forward. The challenge is detangling my very full head of hair afterwards.

3. How do you get yourself up and going in the mornings?
Coffee? A hot shower? Breakfast? Would you consider yourself a
morning person at all? When do you usually get up?

If there’s time (and always on weekends), we cuddle with the kids in bed. Then I just get up. No fancy tricks.

Breakfast with the newspaper is key. I sometimes have coffee afterward but not everyday. I wouldn’t call myself a morning person, but then I’m not a night person either. Well, I guess I probably am a morning person but more like a 9:00am or 10:00am person. That’s when I’m feeling most alive and productive.

4. Do you normally eat breakfast? What do you usually have? Do
you usually make it at home or go out for breakfast, or do you
prefer not to eat breakfast?

Everyday. It’s usually a heavily toasted, buttered English muffin or cereal with milk, and Cran-Grape 100% juice. Today it was a combination of regular Cheerios and Honey Nut Cheerios. On at least one of the weekend days we have eggs and toast for breakfast. But most days are very carb and sugar-heavy, I know. Suggestions are welcome.

5. What does your alarm clock sound like? A buzzer, music, or
something else? Do you ever set your clock fast so that you push
yourself to get ready sooner? Are you usually on time, late, or
somewhere in-between?

Would you want to slap me if I said that I haven’t heard my clock alarm in over nine months? When I worked outside the home, I used to set it for 6:15am. Now I wake up naturally between 7:00-7:15am (sometimes sooner). Then I rush to get myself ready so I can help the girls get dressed (particularly Miss Kindergartener who is NOT a happy camper first thing and needs regular prodding to get her outfit on for school).

Regarding the clock setting—I used to have a clock (cheap piece of crap) that gained time and could be 15-20 minutes ahead even after resetting it to the proper time only days earlier. Now I have an atomic clock that synchronizes itself daily with the U.S. Atomic Clock in Fort Collins, CO so my clock is always accurate.

Lastly, I’m an on-time kind of gal. There is no other way.

So, where are you from?

2004-09-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

According to Area 51, here are the new USA state mottos:

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our taxes are less Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, And Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: UFO Spotting For 50 years

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ...

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared

(If anyone can explain theVermont slogan to me, I’d be obliged.)